facing but not touching her. I didn’t know how this conversation might go, and I didn’t want her to feel trapped in any way. “I need to apologize.”
A little crease formed between her eyebrows, and I was tempted to smooth it out. Still, I kept my hands to myself. It shouldn’t have been so hard not to touch her. Fuck, I’d just been inside her. How could I feel like I hadn’t touched her for days?
“To start with, I behaved like an ass in New York,” I began. “I only heard half of a conversation and jumped to conclusions. I should have asked what was going on and let you explain as much as you could. And I should have been more understanding of your need to keep your client’s confidence.”
“I think we can both agree that we both did things wrong that morning,” she said, one corner of her mouth tipping up.
“Thanks.” I reached out and tucked some hair behind her ear, contenting myself with that small contact for now. “But I have more to apologize for than that. I behaved like a jealous ass the other night with Isaac. I didn’t have any right to get involved. I knew Isaac wouldn’t take advantage of you if you weren’t sober enough to consent, but I hated the idea that you wanted him.”
She laughed. Her eyes were still guarded, but at least I got a laugh rather than a curse. “Well, I was drunk and kissed Isaac because I was jealous of the woman I’d thought you’d just slept with, so I guess we were the same there too.”
“In case there’s any doubt,” I said, “I didn’t sleep with anyone while you were gone. In fact, I hadn’t slept with anyone in months until we got that room at Hades.”
“I haven’t either.” She paused, then added, “The first part, I mean. I didn’t have sex with anyone but you since that time at Hades, either.”
I was tempted to ask when she’d last slept with someone else, but I wasn’t sure I actually wanted to hear the true answer.
“Well, this next apology is all me,” I continued. “I accused you of using Shadae and Brew, of using me, even after you apologized for getting mad about Antoinette and told me as much as you were allowed about why you were here. I was an idiot. I thought my parents had heard about the film I’ve been working on and were worried that I would embarrass the family. It wouldn’t be the first time they’d done something underhanded.” I forced myself to hold her gaze. If she could look at me while I confessed how shitty I’d treated her, the least I could do was take it. “I am so sorry.”
She reached out and ran her fingers over the stubble I hadn’t shaved this morning. “Thank you.”
“Do you think we can move past what happened?” I felt like I was literally holding my breath. “Put it behind us?”
Her eyes slid away from me, following her hand as her fingers ran from my shoulder to my elbow. “If anyone can understand wanting to forget about the past, it’s me.”
Shit. “I’m sorry, that was completely thoughtless of me–”
She put her fingers on my mouth and met my eyes again. “I wasn’t talking about…well, not exactly about that.”
I caught her hand, pulling it away from my mouth but not letting it go. I threaded my fingers between hers and squeezed. Something on her face made me think she was about to share something else about her past that wasn’t easy.
“When I was at the jail, the reason I…the reason why that happened…” She shook her head and sighed. “I was in juvie as a teenager and people who know about it, that’s all they can see when they look at me.”
Okay, that hadn’t been even close to what I’d thought she was going to say. I said the first thing that came to mind. “Not everyone. Kaimi doesn’t treat you like a criminal.”
Nyx laughed, and it was a real laugh, one that lit up her whole face. “Where do you think Kaimi and I met?”
“Well, shit. I just can’t say anything right, can I?” I shook my head.
She squeezed my hand. “It’s all right. We don’t talk about it much, but we don’t hide it either. Sitara and Rose know about both of our pasts.”
I waited for her to explain why she’d been incarcerated for five years, but she didn’t offer. As good as she