I put a hand on the side of her face, my thumb brushing back and forth across her cheek, skin soft against mine. A jolt of desire cut through my worry, and I pushed it back. I would take care of her however she needed, my own desires be damned. I was tempted to apologize before asking what she wanted of me, but if she was willing to look past my behavior because I could give her what she needed right now, I wouldn’t put my own issues on her.
She came first, and then we’d talk.
“Tell me, firebird.” I touched my thumb to the corner of her mouth. “You’re in control.”
She shook her head, her fingers tightening on my shirt. She leaned into me, shoulders shaking. “I-I can’t think. Too much…I just…need…”
I went still, giving myself a few seconds to decide how I should ask the question. It was a delicate dance and one I’d never had to deal with before. Vanilla stuff had always been the usual give-and-take between equal partners, but I’d never been submissive in BDSM until her.
I didn’t want to say anything that might make her think I was pushing her into something she didn’t want, but I also didn’t want to assume that she wanted me to take charge and care for her the way I would a sub…no matter how much I wanted to do exactly that.
“Do you want me to take charge?” My voice was steady, but my heart had started pounding. The previous times we’d had sex had been amazing, and it hadn’t cost me anything to submit to her, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t ever thought about what it’d be like to be the Dominant one with her.
I’d never ask for me, though. Not after learning what she’d been through. I wasn’t that much of a bastard.
“I’m just trying to figure out what you need.” I brushed the back of my knuckles across her cheek. “Talk to me. Do you want me to take charge?”
She hesitated before offering a slow nod. “Please.”
I kissed the top of her head. “I’ll take care of you.”
Neither of us talked as I led her to my cabin. As much as I wanted her, that wasn’t my priority. Some people saw being Dominant as controlling and pushing and bossing, but good Doms knew when to push and when to hold back, when to be tough and when to care. The right ways to be tough or caring.
I sat her on the couch. “I’m going to get you something to drink.”
When I took a step away, she grabbed my wrist. “Don’t go.”
I crouched down in front of her. “Listen, little firebird, I’m going to get you some water, and I want you to drink it, all right?”
She nodded and let go of my wrist. I hated the walk to the kitchen, even though I knew water would do her some good. I grabbed a bottle from my fridge and took it over to her. I went back to my knees in front of her to put us on the same level.
“Drink.”
She did, taking half the bottle in a single go before handing it back to me. Some color had returned to her cheeks, and her eyes had lost some of that haunted look. Not enough, though. I hated seeing her like this.
I reached out slowly, giving her the chance to tell me to stop. She didn’t. My fingers traced down her cheek and then across her jaw until I cupped her chin. Heat grew in her eyes as I ran my thumb along her bottom lip.
“You remember your safe words?”
She nodded.
“Do you still want me to make you forget?”
She nodded again.
I smiled at her. “Then your wish is my command.”
As our mouths came together, my hand moved to curve over the back of her head. She made a soft sound and leaned into me. Her tongue pushed against my lips, and I tugged on her hair, a quick little reprimand, both to remind her that I was in control and to judge how well she’d listen. For a brief second, I thought she’d pull away from me, but instead, she seemed to relax, to respond rather than push.
It was my turn now, and I deepened the kiss. My free hand slid from her knee to her thigh, teasing under the hem of her shorts. My fingers moved back and forth across the soft skin, featherlight touches that made the muscles under my