will be cut into pieces and fed to the drakes” sort of way.
But with a centralized authority came a neat arrangement with the Itreyan navy. The navy accepted that a certain number of ships would be plundered each year, so long as the pirates agreed that, should this quota be exceeded, they would police their own and save the navy the trouble of hunting all Four Seas for the offenders.
Sounds a sensible solution to me, matey.
* Sunsteel is the traditional weapon of the Luminatii Legion, issued to anyone ranking Second Spear or higher. The secrets of its production are tightly guarded, and Luminatii smiths must serve the legion faithfully for twenty years before being taught the art.
In theory, only the most devout of Aa’s legion can ignite the steel, but truthfully, not every member of the Luminatii is a humorless god-bothering fool. Were you considering joining the legion, gentlefriends, there’s no end of fun can be had with a sword that bursts into flame upon command.
Just don’t let your superior officers catch you using it to dry your laundry or light a dona’s cigarillo, and you’ll be fine.
* All jesting aside, Einar “the Tanner” Valdyr, Blackwolf of Vaan, Scourge of the Four Seas, is the 107th king to sit upon the Throne of Scoundrels, and without a doubt, one of most brutal bastards in the history of the Itreyan Republic.
His first murder, that of his older brother, Hakon, was committed with a frying pan at the tender age of twelve, though it should be noted he hideously maimed his younger brother, Jari, at age ten by throwing him to a pack of dogs. He also reportedly beheaded his father on the same turn he cut out his mother’s tongue, though the only man to ever seek confirmation of the rumor, his former first mate, Oluf Dahlman, was kept alive through three months of near-constant torture (Valdyr would drag him out at revels and beat him with hot chains for the “amusement” of his guests), and no one has dared to ask about it since.
Valdyr was sold into slavery at age sixteen and fought undefeated for two years in the gladiatii circuits around Vaan for the Wolves of Tacitus, where he first earned the name “Blackwolf.” Valdyr was on his way to compete in the Venatus Magni in the keeping of Tacitus’s son, Augustus, when their ship was attacked by a Liisian privateer named Giancarli. Valdyr killed seventeen of Giancarli’s men during the attack, impressing the pirate so much that he offered the slave a berth on his crew. Valdyr agreed, slitting his former master’s throat and reputedly fucking the wound while Augustus drowned in his own blood.
You read that right.
Within twelve months, Valdyr had murdered Giancarli and taken over the man’s ship. He earned early infamy by sinking three Itreyan navy triremes, and fostered a reputation as a bloodthirsty combatant who favored boarding actions over cannon. It was around this time he began flaying the faces off the captains he killed, sewing them into a leather greatcoat that is now reportedly so long, he needs train-bearers to follow
him wherever he walks. This habit earned Valdyr his second moniker, “the Tanner.”
Within five years of taking up piracy, and at the ripe old age of twenty-three, Valdyr murdered the 106th king to sit on the Throne of Scoundrels, Saltspitter of the Seaspear clan, and claimed the title for himself. He has ruled Itreya’s pirates undisputed for the past five years. The mere sight of his ebon-sailed ship, the Black Banshee, is enough to make the average merchantman shit his lower intestines, and recent estimates put his personal death toll somewhere in the vicinity of 423 men, women, and children.
Apologies, gentlefriends, I know I usually try to inject some humor into these footnotes. But believe me when I say this bastard is no laughing matter whatso-fucking-ever.
* Yes, I know that’s only three. Use your imagination, smartarse.
* One of the most successful taverna in Liis and indeed, the entire Itreyan Republic. The Pub’s original owner, “Red” Giovanni, was a privateer who sensibly spent his ill-gotten gains on establishing the drinkhouse (rather than wasting it in someone else’s drinkhouse) back when Amai was still two rotten jetties and a lean-to stable. He’s also credited in the annals of the Iron Collegium as a genius behind the greatest marketing campaign of all time.
Giovanni stumbled across the idea that you didn’t need dancing girls or good ale or fine decor to beat out the competition—you simply needed