as the endless years stretched out in relentless isolation.
I need you. The anguish in her voice tore at him.
What had he done? Given up. He'd lost all hope and he'd taken steps to leave the world while his honor was still intact. The decision had been couched in nobility, a fitting way for a Dragonseeker to end his existence, but it was still an act of cowardice. He had reached a point when he knew he was far too close to the darkness, the need for feeling so strong it was taking root even in his strong bloodline. He didn't want to risk being the first Dragonseeker to ever succumb to the call of the vampire. He had refused to take the chance of giving up his soul, and in doing so, when the risk was becoming sharp and agonizing, he had made the decision to end his days.
Stay. Stay with me. Her anguish clawed at him.
How did he tell her it was too late? He covered his face with his hand, wept bloodred tears. His decision to ingest the vampire blood and end his life had cost him this one last shred of a dream. Worse, it had cost her. His woman. So strong, yet so fragile. What had he done? He had betrayed her as every other male had done in her life.
He knew her--he knew her most intimate fears. Her thoughts. She had told him, but he hadn't listened, not as a lifemate. He should have known, but he'd given up, despaired, turned his back on the most important person in his life.
It was not betrayal. Resignation tinged her tone. Acceptance. That hurt almost as much as knowing he had given up on finding her. The moment he had the first strange dream, a waking dream, he should have renewed his efforts to find her. Unlike the younger Carpathians, he had heard the strange tales some of the elders had told of how the call of lifemates could be heard over great distances and could manifest itself in a variety of strange ways. He had fallen into the trap so many of his kind had without realizing it. He had lost hope, and that had left him open and vulnerable to the temptation of the vampire. She didn't call it betrayal, but to him, a man of honor, when honor was all he had, it was the worst sin he could have committed.
Perhaps another could not understand. I have given up hope many times. When all we have is honor, when we stand alone against such horrors as we've seen, sometimes despair is all that is left to us.
She shamed him and yet made him proud. A woman to stand by his side. She knew what he had done. He had told her. She knew what a Carpathian was, what could happen should he stray, even for a moment, from the path. And she had to know what it meant when he'd informed her that he'd ingested the vampire blood and was going into their very camp to spy.
Around him, the rain forest had become another world. The sound of the rain was a soft rhythm, music that drummed in time to his heartbeat. Gray had become a silvery mist, incredibly beautiful, each drop a shimmering crystal prism. He felt the inpidual beads on his skin, and for the first time, the sensation was sensual. He opened his mouth and tasted rain, looking around him in wonder even as he opened his mind to share the precious gift she'd given him. He heard her gasp as she comprehended the enormity of their bonding. It was a sharing he had never expected to experience, and her presence heightened his body's reaction.
He breathed deep as blood rushed to his groin, as every nerve ending in his body went on alert and his skin seemed to sizzle just with the touch of the rain. Strangely, the parasites were quiet, almost as if they'd been as mesmerized by her presence as he was. The hideous whispers in his mind ceased completely.
He allowed himself to just feel, to drink in her presence, to enjoy that moment of not being alone. They shared the same mind, and for that time, everything in him settled, was at peace. He could sense the rightness in her as well, although he knew she was horrified at the things she'd revealed to him about herself in their shared dreams. She was embarrassed that she'd been so vulnerable,