and Malcolm lost his trail.”
A pain lanced Dorian’s heart, and he grabbed the bottle of scotch and took a deep swallow, desperate to numb himself, to block out Aiden’s words, to convince himself it was all just another nightmare.
But in the end, neither alcohol nor denial could erase the truth from Aiden’s eyes.
Bloody hell, Mac. I wasn’t worth it.
“Which brings us to Gabriel,” Aiden said.
Dorian closed his eyes and shook his head. Gabriel’s part, at least, would offer no surprises. Since their reunion after their father’s death, he and Gabriel had gone from sworn enemies to a somewhat tolerable nuisance in one another’s lives, back to enemies once again. Under the threats of their common adversaries, they’d temporarily found some neutral ground, but Dorian wasn’t fool enough to believe his little brother held any respect for him.
Especially not after what had transpired in the dining room.
Do you think I don’t know what it feels like to look in the mirror and hate the man staring back at me?
“You don’t have to say it,” Dorian said, opening his eyes. “I know how Gabriel feels about me. I’ve brought him nothing but disappointment and agony, and every moment we spend in each other’s presence only drives him further away. I’ll be shocked if he’s not gone by sunrise.”
A heavy sigh escaped Aiden’s lips.
“I love you, Dori,” he said in a rare moment of complete seriousness. “You’ve been my brother and best mate for nearly the entirety of my life. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you. No stake I wouldn’t step in front of, no fight I wouldn’t wade into, no half-baked scheme I wouldn’t volunteer for if it offered even a chance at easing your burden. But—”
“Do you think I don’t know it, mate?” Dorian asked. “Of all my so-called brothers, you’re the only one in the whole bloody lot who seems to understand the meaning of the word.”
“But,” Aiden pressed, “I’m not the one who brought you back that night.”
“What are you saying?”
“You told Charlotte I tracked you down and brought you back, but it wasn’t me.” He glanced up at Dorian, his eyes full of utter anguish. “Devil knows, I tried. But in the end, it was Gabriel who found you. Gabriel who walked the streets day and night, forgetting to feed, forgetting to sleep, forgetting all else but his eldest brother. Gabriel who dragged you out of the very fires of hell and brought you home to Ravenswood.”
“Gabriel? But… No. I remember you being here, Aiden. You never left my side.”
“Yes, I was here. I was here the night Gabriel brought you home. Here through the nights of your withdrawals, when you begged me to tear out your heart and end your suffering. And I was here when you awoke from one of your nightmares and nearly killed your brother, simply for adjusting the pillow beneath your head.”
“I… what?”
“By the grace of something I’ve never been able to name,” Aiden said darkly, “I stopped you from beheading him. You can’t see the scars, Dori, but he certainly carries them. I suspect he always will.”
A chill seeped into the room, the wind screaming against the glass, the flames flickering in the fireplace. Dorian’s very bones ached with it, his heart heavy as the darkest memories clawed their way into the light.
Gabriel, tending him at his bedside, night after night with Aiden.
And Dorian, out of his mind with bloodlust and a rage he just couldn’t quell, lashing out at shadows. There was a knife, and somehow he’d gotten hold of it and…
His stomach turned, and Dorian closed his eyes, hiding tears of shame.
“None of us knew whether we could actually bring you back from that darkness,” Aiden said, “but I was willing to try. For whatever reason, I was always able to calm you in a way the others couldn’t. Gabriel didn’t understand it any better than I did, but eventually he realized his presence here was only causing you pain.”
A hot tear escaped, slipping down Dorian’s cheek.
“And so I remained at Ravenswood,” Aiden said, “while Colin and Malcolm continued their desperate quests from afar, and Gabriel walked out the doors of his home and into a new life in Sin City, where he remained until your father died and he knew—even though you’d never deign to ask—you’d need him by your side.”
It was a long moment before Dorian opened his eyes again, and when he did, he found Aiden watching him closely—not with the look of shame and disgust