in there, kiddo?”
I hear her sniff. “Um, yeah. I just…”
“You just what, Nat? What’s going on?” I grip the knob and twist it gently, when what I really want to do is rip the whole damn thing off its hinges. “Open this door.”
Hearing her quiet sobs, I take in a deep breath and blow it out slowly, preparing myself for the worst. I listen as her hand rests on the knob, and without a word, she pulls the door open.
Her face is red, her eyes puffy and swollen. Her hair is in some sort of a twist at the side of her head, but even I know that’s not right.
“I just can’t get my hair right,” she cries, her sobs now chest-wracking gasps.
She looks so tiny for a twelve-year-old. The kids at her new school are going to tower over her, and I hate the idea of leaving her there. She’s so broken, so soft-hearted. Maybe she’s not ready. I know Lindsey says to try, that she needs to interact with her peers and rediscover what it’s like to be a normal kid, but she’s not a normal fucking kid. Not after what she’s been through.
“Can you braid hair, Mr. Judge?”
Mr. Judge. I don’t know how many times I’ve told her to call me plain Judge, or even by my actual name, but she continues to call me Mr. Judge. And I’m not gonna lie, I kinda like it. It’s special, something between just the two of us. “I can’t say I do, shug. I’ve never had much of a reason to learn.”
Sighing, she pulls the elastic band from her hair. I watch, my heart cracking a little more as she stares at her own reflection in the mirror and runs a brush through her locks. “I guess down is good enough,” she whispers.
The sadness in her voice pisses me off, but not at her. Never at her. I’m pissed at her pervert uncle, the man who did this to her. I’m pissed at the legal system that allowed it to happen. I’m pissed at all the men who have ever looked upon this child with anything other than fatherly affection. And most of all, I’m pissed I never learned how to fucking braid hair.
She places the brush down on the counter and turns to me, her lips pushed up into a smile that isn’t fooling anyone. “Ready.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t go to school today.” I hate the thought of dropping her off when I know she’s struggling.
Natalie’s eyes soften as she peers up at me. “I’m okay. Promise.”
I want to believe her. I think she even wants to believe it herself. She’s trying to put on a brave face, but maybe Lindsey is wrong about this. Maybe it's too soon to force her back to school.
“Hey, Nat, come eat.” Kevin stands at the top of the stairs, motioning for his sister to get her ass in gear. “We gotta leave in five minutes, and I don’t want to be late.”
Without another word, she pushes past me and descends the stairs behind her brother. I watch their backs as they go, marveling at the strength they’ve both shown since coming to live with me. But the one thing they don’t understand yet is, they don’t have to be strong. Not anymore. I’m strong enough for all three of us.
And if anyone upsets either of them today, I’ll show that strength when I rip some fucking heads off.
Kevin and I both watch as she pushes her food around on her plate, only nibbling on a piece of toast until I announce that it’s time to leave.
The kids pile into my pickup truck without a word. A few minutes later, we’re standing out front of their school. They look so damn lost in the sea of teenagers as they stare up at the large building, their backpacks hanging from their shoulders.
“You guys good?”
Both kids turn toward me, and even though their faces say they’re ready, their eyes scream they’re not. “Ready,” Kevin says, taking his sister's hand. “We got this, Gene. Promise.”
And he does. I can tell by the determined set of his jaw. I just wish his sister looked as confident.
“Shug, what about you?”
Natalie straightens her shoulders. “I’ll be okay, Mr. Judge. You don’t have to worry about us.”
A lump forms in my throat as she speaks, and I can’t tell if it’s because of my own fear for her, or if it’s because she never ceases to amaze me. Maybe it’s