a choice either, Destiny," he reminded. "He didn't give you choices."
"There's always a choice. You said yourself that the males can give up their lives rather than become vampire. I see in your mind the steadfast resolve to do so if it becomes necessary... and yet I didn't make that choice."
His hand swept down the line of her hair, caught the nape of neck and held her still. "You were not made vampire, Destiny. You are Carpathian."
"Then why do I feel hatred and the desire to kill? Why am I like him and not like you, Nicolae? Do you think it makes it easier to have you near me, knowing what I am, what I've become?" She placed her palm on the wall of his chest, fingers splayed wide, and tried to push him away from her.
He was as solid as a rock, unmoving despite her insistence. "You are not like the monster who stole a child from the safe haven of her home. You are not like the creature who destroyed a young girl's right to a world of innocence. You are nothing like the depraved one who reveled in torturing and killing others. I see into your mind just as clearly as you see into mine. I know who you are, Destiny. I will always know."
"Intimacy." She murmured the word and there were tears in her eyes. "You look into my mind and call it intimate. I call it hell."
He drew her into his arms. "Your hunger is beating at me. I feel it deep inside me, an endless, empty ache." His fingers bunched in her hair and he turned her face into the hollow of his throat so that his pulse beat strongly beneath her lips. "I feel how his blood burns like acid in your veins. Let me replace it with my blood. Let me give you that small gift. That is true intimacy, Destiny, knowing what you need and providing it."
"And what of your needs?" Almost helplessly she rested her head there against his throat. Her mouth was already moving over his skin, the temptation far too great to resist. She could remember the exact taste of him. The feel of his arms, his skin. The power flowing into her body. "What if I can never provide you with what you need? The thought of a man touching me is..." She trailed off, inhaling his scent, taking it deep into her lungs. It could never be. It was too late for the things in his mind.
She didn't want a man touching her, yet every nerve ending was on fire for him. An unfamiliar heaviness had settled in her body. Her breasts felt swollen and ached for his touch. Not a man's touch. His touch. Only his touch. Tears burned, threatened to consume her. If she cried, she might never stop. She might drown the world with her tears. "I don't need pity. I never asked for pity." She said it with her lips tasting his skin, his heat. Absorbing him into her. She actually felt his body hardening, his muscles taut against her softness, his heavy erection pressed tightly against her.
"I am not giving you pity, Destiny. This is love." He said it tenderly. Coaxing her. "Yours for the taking. This is unconditional love. Nothing more, nothing less."
His arms were strong and warm; her body fit perfectly into his. "Your body wants my body," she whispered, the terrible sorrow welling up in her like a fountain. Her voice was husky and ragged. She was damaged for all time, a broken thing, forever contaminated by evil.
His hand clenched in her hair, pushed it aside to expose the vulnerable nape of her neck. He ached for her. For himself. "Of course my body wants you. That is only right and natural, Destiny. You are my true lifemate. There is no other for me, nor will there ever be. Look beyond my body to see into my heart and my soul. See yourself the way I see you. Courageous and beautiful. You are everything. Look into my mind and see that I want only to be what you need."
She couldn't look into his mind. Or his heart. Or his soul. She was afraid she would find just what he said. Happiness and hope. A glimpse of what might have been. She knew exactly what she was. She lived with her body and her mind and her scarred soul every rising. Dreams had no place in her world. Destiny