hinder other parts, too, such as the physical enjoyment.”
“So I’m doomed to either no sex, bad sex, or letting everyone ‘hear’ me?”
She sat back in her chair. “I would say that is your decision to make, but truthfully, it is not. You and Tristan need to be making love. As often as possible.”
If I’d been drinking anything, I would have spewed it in her face. Did she really say that?
“I apologize for being so blunt, but we need a daughter. But do not worry. Any other time, your thoughts are shielded.” She pursed her lips and tilted her head. “In fact, your shield is too heavy—it protects your vulnerabilities, but it also inhibits the power of this gift.” She paused, rearranged her expression and waved her fingers dismissively. “It will resolve itself on its own, I am sure. In the meantime, let us concentrate on controlling the many voices in your head and eliminating the wall.”
My heart jumped. “Already?” I squeaked.
“Not completely. We will practice—you will practice—extensively first. Eventually, you will feel comfortable with letting it go.”
I took a deep breath and nodded. “Okay. So how do I practice?”
At her request, I explained my usual technique with the black cloud that gave me something to focus on as I opened my mind to others. It worked well when it was only Tristan, Owen, and me, but not so much anymore.
“Yes, that is an imperfect way to envision it,” Rina agreed. “I expect it is easy with Tristan and Owen because you know their voices so well. You probably do not need that vision with them anymore. You are able to identify their specific mind signatures.”
“Their what?”
“Mind signatures. That is what I call them. It is difficult to explain, but if you have felt it, you understand what I mean. It is like a thought current I receive, but I do not actually hear the thought yet.”
“Oh! That’s kind of how I just found you. I didn’t hear your thoughts, but I did pick up your voice or your brain wave or something, and followed it here to your office.”
She smiled. “Then you are becoming more familiar with me. You identified my mind signature. What you felt is produced by every brain, and each one is unique. Rather than sending out your cloud, imagine identifying the signature you want and then focus on it until you receive the thoughts. The signatures are already out there. Simply let yourself feel them and decide which one to focus on.”
“And I have to let the wall go to feel the signatures.”
“Correct. To start with, imagine the wall as a screen, letting only the signatures through, but not the thoughts. Become accustomed to the mind signatures, then learn to find the thoughts behind them, letting only one person’s stream of thoughts through the screen at a time. If too many thoughts start flowing through the screen at once, you can solidify the wall. When you are not practicing, you can keep the wall up. You will learn, however, to function almost normally without the wall or screen, letting the signatures . . . hmm, how do I say? . . . float—I suppose that is a good word—around you.”
“So how long do I have to practice before I get another chance with the council?”
“The council will not gather again until the coronation ceremony in three months.”
Three months! That was too long. If I had a daughter out there . . .
“But I will try to provide you with opportunities to be near council members individually before then,” Rina added. “I need to know if my interpretation of the Angels’ message is correct sooner rather than later. First, however, you need to practice as much as possible.”
I promised her I would. This was just as urgent to me as it was to her, although for different reasons.
“Let us start, then.” She paused for a moment, her head tilted to the side as if listening for something. “It is only you and me here. Dissolve your wall, and make it into a screen.”
I stared at her for a long moment, then inhaled a deep breath. Please be okay. Please be okay. I so did not want to do this, but the thought of a little girl reminded me I had no choice. With my eyes closed, I imagined the wall as a big, black structure in my mind and visualized the tiniest of holes puncturing it all over. I held my breath, waiting for something to happen,