and speechless for several minutes by an ache.”
“I’m fine, though. Truly.” I rolled my shoulders. “I could spar again—that’s how good I feel. So everything’s fine.”
The man glanced at Raven. “I think your recruit has heart problems. Ever seen anything like this from her before?”
“No.” Raven studied me. “She’s trained daily under our watch for three years and never showed any sign of chest pain. She’s in astounding physical shape, Deacon. Stronger and faster than many of the male recruits. I don’t see how that’d be possible if she had a bad heart.”
Deacon rubbed his beard. “You ever felt anything like this, Briar Rose?”
“Never.” I did my best to look perplexed. “We were just sparring, and we’ve been going for a few hours. I haven’t had much water to drink. Maybe it was a muscle cramp.”
Tavar’s shoulder’s slumped. “It’s probably my fault,” he said quietly. “I struck her on the back harder than I meant to a moment ago. Thought she would roll and block, but I should have seen her arm was pinned. Maybe that’s what caused the muscle cramp.”
The guilt on his face made my throat tighten. This wasn’t his fault at all. If anything, it was mine. I’d been the one thinking such unprofessional thoughts in the middle of a training session. But why had the curse been so upset?
Careful, the curse growled. You are on shaky ground.
“It’s fine. I’m fine.” I rubbed my chest.
Deacon stood and held out his hand to me. I took it but made a concerted effort to show I could stand without putting any weight on him.
When he released me, I held up my hands. “See? I’m fine. I’ll go home and get some rest, and I’ll be good as new tomorrow. Sorry for the inconvenience, everyone.”
“Take tomorrow off.” Raven was frowning. “Just in case.”
I nodded confidently and ignored Tavar’s searching gaze. “Yes, Instructor. Will do.”
Tavar walked me out of the training compound, but the curse wouldn’t let me look at him, much less speak to him. When we reached the corner where we went our separate ways, he paused. “Dinner some other time? When you’re … feeling better?”
The curse shot a vindictive stab of pain into my chest but allowed me to glance over my shoulder at Tavar. “Don’t think so,” I mumbled.
I walked home quickly, my legs jerky and exhausted from the curse’s attack. All I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and nurse my pain, but I could feel the curse hovering, waiting to resume its fury, and I knew that it would be a long time before I could rest tonight.
Mom met me at the door, ever hopeful. “Good evening, Bri,” she said quietly.
I nodded and passed her on the way to the kitchen, feeling sick with guilt, as usual. I hated seeing her hopeful face, hated knowing the Masters were using me against her. Hated the way the curse would be furious for hours after an interaction with her. I avoided her as much as I could.
“You’re home early.”
I didn’t look up from spreading butter on a crusty piece of rye bread for my dinner. “Finished up early.”
“I’m sorry you missed dinner.” She moved closer. I could feel her warmth behind me, hear the swishing of the pretty, navy-blue dress she’d worn to teach at the Academy that day. “I could make you something now, if you’re hungry.”
I turned to face her. “I’ll pass,” the curse spoke from my mouth, filling my mouth with bile.
Mom nodded and strode toward the sink, where a pile of dinner dishes soaked in sudsy water.
My throat tightened. I didn’t want dinner. I wanted her warm touch, her kind voice. I wanted her to look at me with approval and affection, not this ever-present, devastating disappointment.
As if she’d sensed my thought, she paused mid-stride and turned to face me again. “I’ll always love you, Bri,” she said fiercely. She held my gaze, her green eyes steady and unflinching. “Always.”
The curse sent a bolt of pain into my already sore heart. I clenched my fist at the stinging feeling, crushing the piece of bread in my hand. The curse snarled with rage, like it was a cornered animal and Mom a hunter. If only that were the case.
Mom didn’t say anything else, but she waited silently, perhaps hoping for a response the curse wouldn’t allow me to give.
I was the first to turn away. I went upstairs with my smushed piece of bread and ate it quickly, tears dribbling down