head home.
I’d actually let her slip through my fingers. Just like that, she was gone. She’d said that she still wanted to work on things. That we’d video chat and visit, but it wasn’t the same. And we both knew it. She had already started pulling away as soon as she said no. I didn’t want that good-bye at the airport to be enough, but I’d royally fucked up. And I was only going to make it worse when I told her about this insufferable bet.
Maybe we could salvage it. At least, I hoped that we could.
I’d figure it out after this damnable party.
A few hours here, and I might want to fly to Charleston tonight. I pulled into the driveway of the Kensington Cottage, as I had done over and over the last two months. It looked the same, and yet I knew that it was empty. She wasn’t in it.
Every inch of this place reminded me of her. I wasn’t sure I’d ever be able to set foot inside without seeing her here. All the hours we’d spent together, writing, joking, brooding, fucking. This house now belonged to her in my mind.
I leashed Totle and then entered the house. Totle took off at a bound. He was so excited to be back. He looked around at all the strange people and seemed to be looking…for her.
“What are you doing with him at this party?” my mother accosted me.
“I couldn’t just leave him,” I told her flatly. “I’ll put him in a bedroom, and he’ll be fine for the evening.”
“I hope you’re going to behave at this event, Penn. This is important for my career.”
I leveled her with a blank gaze. “Sure. I’ll behave.”
Then I shouldered past her and went back to the master bedroom. It would be occupied later, but for now, it was where Totle was most familiar, so I’d leave him here. I shooed him inside and then closed the door behind him.
I couldn’t be this Penn anymore tonight. I had to be aloof, placating, devious even. I needed my Upper East Side mask. The one I wore to fit into these crowds that I’d once owned. And to care about the bullshit they spewed. To not embarrass my mother at this important event where nearly every politician in New York was in attendance. Even though that was all I wanted to do.
But I had been raised in this world. Slipping back into that skin was second nature. As easy as breathing.
Natalie wasn’t here, so nothing was real.
Not even me.
I strode around the room, shaking hands and kissing babies—metaphorically, of course. I charmed housewives and smirked at daughters. I did what was expected of me. What I’d always done. What I was good at. But there was nothing enjoyable about it. Not even the three glasses of bourbon I’d guzzled down to deal with these unbearable sycophants.
Three phone numbers, an offer to disappear down to the beach, and a suggested affair with the wife of a state senator, and I’d had enough. I tossed the numbers and reached for another drink.
“Ah, little brother is back in business,” Court said. He was leaning against the counter in the kitchen and smirking at me deviously.
I narrowed my eyes at him and didn’t respond. I just poured my drink and took a good, long sip.
“Where’s your new girlfriend?” he asked. “Thought she’d be making an appearance with you, or have you already blown through another one?”
“I really don’t want to discuss Natalie with you. Believe it or not.”
“Ah, Natalie! That was her name,” he said as if he’d just remembered. “She was smoking hot. Little angel. Was she a devil in bed?”
I ground my teeth and ignored the impulse in my brain telling me to beat the shit out of him. “Whatever, Court.”
Jane Devney strode into the kitchen then. She had on a nondescript blue dress and heels. Her ash-blonde hair was pulled up into a twist.
“Hello, pet,” Court crooned at her.
She smiled at him. “Ah, there you are. I was just talking to Senator Cumberland about that new initiative he’s working on in clean energy. But I just knew that I’d find you in here.”
He pulled her into his side and grinned down at her like a fool. My brother…a fool for love? I was imagining things. Jane was probably a means to an end or, at the very least, a short-term lay that he hadn’t dismissed yet.
“How do you deal with him?” I demanded.
Jane glanced back at