The Crown (The Selection #5) - Kiera Cass Page 0,69

absence as a reason to take the throne, and my people.” I shook my head. “I can’t …”

He took my face in his hands, making me look into his eyes. Though they brimmed with tears, they were as beautifully clear as ever. “What a privilege it is to come in second place to your people. What a queen you’ve become, that you can’t bear to part yourself from them.”

I pulled him to me, kissing him as if our lives depended on it. Maybe it wasn’t the prettiest kiss, with moisture under our noses and mascara on my cheeks, but it was the encapsulation of all the other ones we’d never get to have.

Kile was right. It was the last kisses that mattered.

I stepped back, wiping my face. I really wanted to be a lady in this moment. I reached down, slipping his great-great-grandmother’s ring off my finger.

“Don’t be silly.”

“It’s an heirloom, Eikko.”

He wrapped his hand around mine. “The day I gave it to you, I had no intention of taking it back. I couldn’t give it to anyone else.”

I smiled sadly and put it back in place. “Well, then.” I reached down and pulled my signet ring off instead.

“Eadlyn, that is for royalty.”

“And you would have been an excellent prince. For the rest of your life, you’ll have proof.”

We stared down at our rings. They weren’t on our left hands, but it was as close as we’d get. A part of my heart would always be locked away for Eikko.

“I have to go,” he said. “He should be in his room.”

I nodded.

Eikko gave me a faint kiss on my cheek and whispered in my ear, “I love you. I hope you have a beautiful life.”

And then, as if he couldn’t take another second, he slipped back out through the office, sliding the door closed behind him.

I sat down, gripping the arm of the couch. I felt positively sick. Like I might faint. Or vomit. I ran to the door that led straight to the hallway, dashing to my room as quickly as I could.

“My lady?” Eloise asked as I bolted past her and into the bathroom, heaving up everything I’d eaten today.

Between bursts of sickness I wailed, furious and broken and just so tired.

“Get it all out,” Eloise whispered, coming over with a damp cloth. “I’ve got you.”

She knelt behind me and wrapped her arms around my stomach. The pressure was surprisingly soothing.

“I can’t imagine what it’s like to be you. Everyone having an opinion, everyone having a request. But when you’re here, you scream and you cry all you want, okay? We’ll get you through it.”

I sobbed, turning myself in to her chest. She didn’t even say a word, just held me as I let everything flood out of my system.

“Thank you,” I said when my breathing had slowed.

“Any time. Now, do you need to get back to work?”

“I have to go propose to Henri.”

If she was surprised, she didn’t show it. “First things first. Let’s wash your face.”

And with that I began the slow process of preparing myself for the first step of the rest of my life.

ELOISE HELPED ME PULL MYSELF together, and I looked nothing short of magnificent when I walked down to Henri’s room. Just as I’d done when I thought I’d end up with Kile, I reminded myself that this wasn’t a bad choice. Henri would be devoted and kind, and while our means of communication might be unconventional for a while, it didn’t mean that our life together wouldn’t be a happy one.

His butler answered the door and kindly ushered me in. Henri was at his table with books opened and a pitcher of tea at his disposal. He stood when he saw me, bowing in a way that could only be described as joyful.

“Hello today!”

I giggled, walking over with the wide wooden box in my arms. “Hello, Henri.” I set it down on his table and hugged him, and he brightened at my affection. “What’s all this?”

I touched his books, taking in the pages. Of course, even if he had no help, he was studying his English. He grabbed at a notebook and held it up, pointing.

“I write for you. I can read, yes?”

“Oh, yes, please.”

“Okay, okay.” He took a deep breath and smiled as he held up his papers. “‘Dear Eadlyn. I know I cannot be saying, but I am thinking of you each days. My words are no good yet, but my heart,’” he said, touching his chest, “‘feels what