The Crown (The Selection #5) - Kiera Cass Page 0,68

swallowed. “He does worship the very ground I walk on.”

Kile nodded, allowing that. “I suppose you could do worse than absolute devotion.”

I smiled. “Thank you. You have kept me sane through so much of this, but I can’t take away the one thing you really care about.”

He nodded. “I understand.”

I walked toward him, and he folded me into an embrace, holding me so close it almost hurt.

His voice sounded tight when he finally spoke. “If there’s anything I can ever do for you, tell me.”

I wept into his shirt. “I will. And I’ll do anything you ask.”

“Except marry me.”

I pulled back, happy to see him smile. “Except marry you.” I let go, lacing my fingers together. “I’m going to make the official announcement tomorrow. I need you to stay until then so the press doesn’t get wind of what’s going on. After that, I don’t want to see your face for a year. You hear me, Woodwork?”

“I get a pass for the wedding, right?”

“Well, of course, for the wedding.”

“And Christmas?”

“Obviously.”

He considered. “What about your birthday?”

“Well, Ahren did say he’d come back, so it’ll probably be a marvelous party.”

He nodded. “Okay then. A year except for those three days.”

“Perfect. And in the meantime, you’ll just be doing the thing you were born to do,” I said with a shrug, as if this was all nothing.

He shook his head. “I’m going to build something. I’m really going to build something.”

“And you will change lives because of it.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty.”

“You’re welcome.” I kissed his cheek and ran out of the door before I changed my mind. “I’ll see you in the studio tomorrow. I’ll send details once I have them.”

In the hallway, I held my hand to my stomach and took a deep breath. I’d made a choice. So why did I suddenly feel out of control?

I hurried back to the office, glad to see that everyone was on the move, making tomorrow come together as smoothly as possible. Everyone it seemed, except for me.

“Lady Brice, can you please get Erik for me? I need to speak with him about the specifics of tomorrow.”

“Consider it done.”

I PACED THE OFFICE’S SIDE parlor, waiting for him to come. Every second, the mass in my throat grew bigger, threatening to trap all the words I had to say beneath it.

“Your Majesty?” he said quietly, and even though there were people swarming around, he didn’t think twice about smiling at me like I was his sun and stars.

“I need to speak with you about tomorrow. Would you close the doors, please?” I tried to keep my voice even, but his expression showed he knew I was holding back. And that made the attempt at diminishing how important this was that much harder.

“Are you all right?” he whispered, even though we were alone.

I exhaled, trying to keep calm. “Not quite.”

“According to the news, you have an unexpected suitor,” he said plainly.

I nodded.

“How long has this been a problem?”

“Longer than I knew.”

“I imagine this has caused you undue stress.”

“It’s done so much more than that.” I swallowed. “Because of this issue, I am forced to announce my engagement tomorrow.”

“Oh.” The tiny word held a world of shock.

“And due to Kile having other pursuits that I couldn’t ignore, I will be proposing to Henri. Today.”

At that he couldn’t muster a word at all.

I reached for his hand, and he gave it to me. He didn’t even look angry, which would have been fair since I’d backed out of nearly every promise I’d made. He was, quite simply, only sad. A feeling I identified with all too well.

“I’m sure you understand that I will have to leave after tomorrow,” he said quietly.

“I’ll have Neena find another translator. You shouldn’t be forced to replace yourself.” My breathing hitched, and the tears came. “I’m planning on going within the hour to see him. Do you think … could you please not be in the room?”

He nodded. “If you had asked me to stay, it might be the first time I tried to refuse you.”

We stood there, quietly holding hands. Maybe if we were still, nothing could change.

“I’d prepared myself,” he said. “I understood what was coming and still—”

The pain of standing there watching Eikko’s lip tremble was acute.

I fell into him. “Eikko, I need you to hear it. Just once, I need you to know it without doubt. I love you. And if I was free, if I was my own person, I’d escape with you now. But Marid would use my