A Crown Of Fire And Wrath (The Shadow Walkers Saga #5) - Sloane Murphy Page 0,60

the way to help you get your strength back, so you can face the ones you love the most, and tell them the most important bits of what you told me. You, Mara, are a fighter. Your heart is bigger than any other I’ve ever known. What happened, all of it, was not your fault. Not one fucking bit of it.”

Tears spill down my cheeks again at his words. Sitting here, being torn in two, all of my darkest parts on display. The chaos inside of me quiets a little at his words, even if the guilt of everything still threatens to choke me. He pulls me in closer to his side and leans the side of his head against the top of mine, and just lets me cry, and mourn the child that I lost.

Chapter Fourteen

I’ve been here three days, trying to heal enough to be able to go home and face my guys. To tell them not only what I’d done, but also why I ran. And the thought terrifies me. The thought that they might leave because of it makes me almost immovable.

But I’ve been working with Morgan and the guys on building my power, they’ve been giving me all the space I need, but also plenty of distraction as I try to work through my guilt and grief. Though the guilt of still being here, rather than going back home, knowing what the guys must be going through—even though it will have only been about a day back home—it still hurts me.

I hate that my first instinct was to run. That’s not who I am. At least, I don’t think so.

There are only so many times you can hurt like that without it changing you. While I might not have completely reconciled all of the pain inside of me, I have found a fraction of peace in being here. Just enough to get a handle on the measure of healing I still need to do, but I know I need the people in my life around me to do that. I accept that I love them all, despite the changes in me, I just have to hope that they can accept me, with all of my past on show. Morgan and the guys showed me that it’s possible, but they’ve dealt with enough pain and change themselves that I know that’s exactly why I came here.

That’s the other thing being here has given me chance to work on. Who I am now that I know this. Now that I know everything. Caleb was right in one respect, fundamentally, I’m the same as I’ve always been, but the pain and scars I carry now have definitely changed me.

I find myself less willing to trust people I don’t know. But I guess that’s just a part of my trauma, and how it has shaped me.

I know the people I have around me are ones I can trust. They’ve shown that time and again. Despite Marie’s vision, I refuse to believe anyone still in our circle would be the one to betray us. If whoever is behind this is working with a witch—which does make me suspect Amelia more, after everything Michael has said—they could have manipulated Marie’s vision more than she realized. Another war could still be coming, and I refuse not to be prepared.

Morgan agreed with my deduction when I spoke to her. So did Bryce, and considering he is literally War, it makes me trust my instincts just a little more. I decided once I get home, I’m going to look into it a little more on my own while the guys focus on the bits they’ve already been looking into. I’m not going to burden them with this in case I’m wrong.

“Mara, come on. Don’t take it easy on me,” Malik says as he bounces on the balls of his feet. Sparring with the guys has shown me one thing the last few days. I really do remember everything. It’s one of the few things that has made me smile. A little like the maniacal smile I wear right now.

“You need me to take it easy on you.” I wink at him, and he scoffs.

“Please. I can handle you,” he says launching at me, no holds barred. I duck and parry, rolling out of the way of his attack, searching for a weakness to flip the tables. But they’re not called the Four Horsemen for no reason. That being said, I wasn’t a notorious Hunter