in second-hand plimsolls. Old boys sat in the shade beside them gobbing off into mobiles.
I had five bars of signal, and a text from my new mates at TDCA welcoming me to Afghanistan. I tapped the keypad as kids kicked a football on a dusty make-do pitch with rocks for goals. A family had set up home in the bombed-out remains of a one-storey building. The roof was a moth-eaten tarpaulin.
Everything and everyone was covered with dust. I could already feel a layer of grime on the back of my neck, and that was just from the air-conditioning.
There were four or five rings, and then I heard a familiar voice.
45
'I'm in the city, heading for the hotel. Any more emails?'
'Yes. We have a problem. They want the money in position by Saturday morning. If not, he dies.'
'Chances are he's history anyway, right?'
'Correct.'
'I'll read it when I get to the hotel.'
I closed down the cell and leant forward again. 'This your wagon, maybe?'
He smiled proudly and nodded like a madman.
'Nice.'
He nudged us past a dozen pushbikes taking up half the road. The traffic was bumper to bumper. I saw plenty of 4x4s and orange-and-white taxis, but everything else seemed to be a Corolla.
High walls, razor wire and floodlights sectioned off the buildings in this neighbourhood. They probably housed NGOs, big companies and government bodies, and were guarded inside by the entire male populations of the Philippines and Nepal.
Outside almost every one of them was a plywood guardhouse. Local guys in serge sat on plastic chairs in the shade, their body armour so thin it was more like a stab vest. Each had an AK across his thighs, a brass teapot and a glass at his feet. Nothing much seemed to be going on. They just sat and stroked their beards.
I tapped the baby seat. 'How many children you got, mate?'
'Four! All boys, Mr Nick!'
'You've been busy.'
He turned and gave me the world's biggest grin. 'Maybe!'
The escort nodded along, too, as Magreb explained what we were waffling about.
We crawled past rack upon rack of bootleg DVDs, mostly Bollywood by the look of it. A poster in the shop window behind them showed a beautiful woman with perfect teeth dancing around in blindingly coloured clothes as the guy with the beard watched on admiringly. The fucker was stalking me.
We reached a roundabout. Traffic in all directions was at a standstill. Four guys in a different style of grey serge pointed at vehicles and shouted, then kicked the ones that didn't obey. They wore oversized Russian-style white peaked caps they'd had to place on the backs of their heads so they could see. They looked like drunken sailors. A couple wore face masks, as if they were directing traffic in Tokyo.
Magreb made a tutting noise. 'A bomb in a car. The man killed himself, Mr Nick, maybe.'
The escort thought he'd better demonstrate. His arms went up in the air. 'Boom!' He pointed along the exit immediately to our right.
I watched one of the peaked caps land a kick on the side panel of an orange-and-white. Magreb tutted again.
'You work at the hotel?'
'I work in kitchen, Mr Nick. I am chef. They need someone go to airport, and I speak English. My English OK for you, Mr Nick?'
I gripped his shoulder and gave it a bit of a manly shake. 'Maybe, Magreb. Maybe. Thanks for picking me up, mate.'
Cars tried to worm their way into any gap. Magreb somehow worked the people-carrier forward. The traffic cops' brand-new green-and-white Toyota 4x4 was parked in the middle of the roundabout. A sign on the back announced in English that it was a present from the people of Germany.
An old man selling SIM cards took advantage of the jam and walked between the vehicles, his merchandise hung from a board held high on a pole, like a glockenspiel.
I tapped the escort. 'Give him a shout.'
Magreb translated. The window creaked down and the guard called him over.
The old guy wore about three coats and a cowpat hat. His eyes brightened at the prospect of a sale. Every card that hung from the board in a cellophane wrapper showed a footballer that even I could recognize. I pushed my arm between Magreb and the escort.
'How much?'
Magreb translated. 'Ten dollars each, maybe.'
My hand dived into my jeans.
The old boy's head almost filled the open window.
I spread my fingers. 'Give me five.'
He grinned like I'd made his year and handed over a set of Thierry Henrys. Perhaps he'd celebrate with a fourth