… I never did. Manipulate you, I mean. And I never will.” She hesitated. It was a promise that she didn’t know if she’d be able to keep. Not if he didn’t agree to help them. “And I did try to tell you about being cyborg. I mean, kind of. I’m sure I considered it at least twice.”
Kai started to shake his head and she held her breath. “No, you were right before. If you’d told me, I probably never would have spoken to you again.” He stared down at the sash twisted between his fists. “Although, I like to think I would act differently now.”
He met her gaze and she noticed, with a start, that his ears had gone pink. And then his lips quirked into the faintest of smiles.
It was the smile she’d been waiting for.
It didn’t last long.
“Cinder. Look. I am glad I’m not married right now, but this was still a huge mistake. I can’t risk angering Levana. Whatever you’re planning, you have to leave me out of it.”
“I can’t. I need your help.”
He sighed, but it was shaky, and she could tell his resolve was crumbling.
“You think Selene can overthrow her?”
Biting the inside of her cheek, she nodded. “I do.”
“Then I hope she intends to do it soon.”
Dragging her hands down her sides, Cinder felt nervousness pressing against her rib cage. “Kai, she may not be exactly what you were hoping for. I don’t want you to be disappointed. I know you put a lot into trying to find her and—”
“Why? What’s wrong with her?”
Cringing, she knotted her fingers together. Metal and skin. “Well. She was rescued from that fire, but it destroyed a lot of her body. She lost some limbs. And a lot of her skin had to be grafted. And … she’s just not … entirely whole.”
He furrowed his brow. “What do you mean? Is she in a coma?”
“Not anymore.” She braced herself for his reaction. “But she’s a cyborg.”
His eyes widened, but then his attention was darting around the room as though he couldn’t look at Cinder while he adjusted to that information. “I see,” he said slowly, before meeting her gaze again. “But … is she all right?”
The question caught her by surprise and she couldn’t help a startled laugh. “Oh, yeah, she’s great. I mean, half the people in the world want to kill her and the other half want to chain her to a throne on the moon, which is just what she’s always wanted. So she’s fantastic.”
He stared at her like he was once again questioning her sanity. “What?”
Cinder shut her eyes and tried to bury her mounting panic. Opening them again, she spread her hands, placating. Hesitated.
She looked at the ceiling.
Took in a breath.
Met his gaze again.
“It’s me, Kai. I’m Princess Selene.”
Sixty-One
Kai’s face was made up of confusion, like she’d spoken gibberish. His wedding sash slipped out of his hands and drifted to the floor.
When the silence slipped toward awkward, Cinder cleared her throat. “And in case you weren’t sure, I was being sarcastic before about all that ‘great’ stuff. Not that, I mean—I know you have your own things to worry about, so you don’t need to … I don’t … I’m fine, really. It’s just been a rough few weeks with the whole”—she circled her hands wildly through the air—“Peony-ball-Levana-wedding thing. And now Dr. Erland is dead and Scarlet is gone and Thorne is blind and Wolf … I’m not sure. He’s so still these days and I’m really starting to worry about him. But I’ve got it under control. I can do this. I’m—”
“Stop. Please stop talking.”
She clamped her mouth shut.
The silence dragged on.
Cinder opened her mouth, but Kai held up his hand. She shut it again. Bit her lip.
“You?” he finally said. “You are Princess Selene?”
Grimacing, she rubbed at her wrist. “Surprise?”
“All this time?”
She ducked her head, suddenly uncomfortable at the way he was looking at her. “Um, yeah, technically. Dr. Erland figured it out first, when I was taken in for the cyborg draft. He ran my DNA and … yeah. But he decided not to tell me until I was locked up in prison, which complicated a few things.”
Kai guffawed, but not in a mean way. Inhaling a shaky breath, he rubbed the palms of his hands into his eyes. Then, as quickly as his disbelief had come, the comprehension came faster. “Oh, stars. Levana knows, doesn’t she? That’s why she hates you so much. That’s why she’s so determined