the floor when I spot a tropical fish tank filled with an array of brightly coloured fish, a reptile tank with what I think is a bearded dragon, and a white, lop-eared rabbit peeking out from a plastic tunnel on the floor.
“Oh my God—”
A bird screeches behind me, and I almost piss my pants.
“Jesus!”
Will smiles, all teeth and pride. “That’s Romeo and Juliet, my love birds.”
Clutching my chest, I blink all the blinks then burst into laughter. “You weren’t kidding when you said you like animals, huh? You’re like a male version of Snow White.”
He strides over to the rabbit, squats, and picks it up. “Hey, buddy. Come meet Elizabeth.” Will hugs the ball of fluff to his chest, and if I had fallopian tubes, I’m sure they’d explode. It’s the most adorable thing I’ve ever seen. Slightly paradoxical but immensely adorable.
“Want to cuddle Casper?” he asks, holding him out like Rafiki the mandrill did Simba in The Lion King.
“Sure!”
He places him on my chest, and I cradle his bum and back. “Hi. Are you as friendly as your namesake?” He makes a sniffy sound and snuggles into the crook of my neck, and I decide I love him unconditionally. “I always wanted a rabbit, but Mum is allergic to fur, so I never got one. Nor a cat or dog.”
“You didn’t have a cat or dog?”
I shake my head.
“I can’t imagine that horror.”
Casper undulates as I laugh.
“So what’s stopping you getting a rabbit now?”
“Probably Sasha. I reckon she’d eat it. And that wouldn’t be great pet ownership.”
He strokes his bunny, and I bite my lip. “Golden Retrievers are smart dogs. You could easily train her not to eat other pets.”
“I’ve told Carly to send her to doggy training numerous times. She hasn’t… clearly.”
After strolling over to the fish tank, I gently bend my knees and dip my head. “You have a Nemo, how cute.”
“I do. And Marlin and Dory.”
“What?” I eagerly search the tank for the other clownfish and the blue tang, but then shake my head, shocked he even knew the Disney characters in the first place.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, brows knitting together.
“I’m… I’m just surprised.”
“By what?”
“By you.”
“Why?”
“You’re not like I thought you were.” I divert my gaze back to the tank, ashamed. “You’re actually a really sweet, down-to-earth guy.”
“So what’s your problem then?”
Focussing on Dory, she zigs and zags around the tank. “I don’t have a problem.”
“Good. So be my woman then.”
I snigger. “Your woman?”
“You know what I mean, sweetheart.”
Turning my back to him—because it’s easier to be a coward than not—I move closer to the reptile tank. “N-No. I don’t think it’s a good idea.”
“Why not?”
“Because I… I don’t need a man to fulfill my life. As much as I want the fairy tale, I don’t need it. Men let you down. They tell you what you want to hear then disappoint you.” Desperate to change the subject, I point to his lizard. “What’s his name?”
“Her name is Princess Fiona.”
“Princess Fiona?” I burst out laughing and turn to face him.
“Yes, and the little dude hiding in the corner is Shrek.”
Scrutinizing the corners of the tank, I spot a tortoise just as Will takes Casper from my grasp, puts him on the ground, and stands directly in front of me, arms crossed over his puffed chest, eyes stern.
“What?” I ask.
“Not all men do that.”
“Do what?”
“Let you down.”
I cross my arms too. “Well, I haven’t come across one who hasn’t.”
“Yeah, you have.” He steps forward, his wrists bumping mine.
I step back. “That’s yet to be seen.”
He steps forward again. “So let me show you.”
“I…” I hold up my hand like a stop sign. “I don’t know. I’m—”
“You’re basing that judgement on him, aren’t you?”
“Him?” I ask, confused.
His eyes narrow. “Oliver.”
I almost choke on the name. “Oliver?”
“Yes.”
I shake my head. “Oliver and I have never dated.” Pausing for a second, I doubt my own words. “Well, I don’t think we have. I’m not really sure.”
“That says a lot.”
Stepping back once again, I scratch the base of my neck. It’s not really itchy, so I don’t know why I do it. “I’m not following.”
“Oliver is a fucksqueak who wouldn’t know pure gold from a pile of shit even if he shit it out himself.” He takes my hands in his. “But I do. I know you’re gold, sweetheart. A prize. And I know I wanna win you.” He closes his eyes. “No, I wanna earn you,” he says, opening them again. Will lets go of my hands and cradles my