wedding dress… I remembered taking it off when we came home.
My marriage didn’t last long, but it was happy for its duration.
Sofia opened the door wearing a blue dress that fit her comfortably. Her hair was thick and curled, and even though she looked beautiful, she clearly looked distressed. Her stomach was considerably bigger than the last time I saw her. “Hey…”
Maybe when she looked in the mirror, she saw a large pregnant woman who wasn’t the least bit arousing, but I saw something completely different. I saw a woman doing the sexiest thing in the world…giving birth to a son.
When she’d made a comment about me being with strippers and whores, it offended me because she didn’t understand the depth of my feelings. Maybe they were thinner than she was, but they certainly weren’t as pretty. Being with them would just make me lonely and depressed. This long venture into celibacy wasn’t a good solution, but I didn’t know what else to do.
I couldn’t be with anyone else.
She opened the door wider, and she stepped aside. “Come in.”
I moved inside, but I hoped I wouldn’t run into her mother. The last time I saw her, it was awkward. I suspected an awkward conversation was about to follow, but when I stepped inside the house, it seemed quiet. Now that I was with Sofia, I didn’t know what to do. It felt strange to go to her bedroom, but it felt odd to leave the house when she was so obviously uncomfortable. I stayed quiet and let her decide.
“Where are your bags?”
“I already checked in to the hotel.”
Her eyes slowly fell with sadness. “Oh…”
I didn’t want to repeat what happened last time. It had felt good in the moment, but afterward, I’d felt like shit. I was sure she felt the same way.
“You want to go to dinner?”
She stared at me blankly like she hadn’t heard a word I said. “I don’t want you staying at the hotel.”
I’d hoped this argument wouldn’t come up, but she seemed adamant about having it. “I think it’s more appropriate.”
“I don’t want appropriate. I want you beside me every night so you can feel your son kick and move. And I want to make sure we’re together when he comes. When my water breaks, I want you there for that. I don’t want to be sleeping alone when the biggest event of my life happens.”
I watched the emotion in her eyes and felt powerless to resist it. She didn’t just want me for sex. She wanted us to be a family before the third member arrived. But there was no way I could sleep beside her without taking off my clothes and making love to her between the sheets.
It sounded like a nice picture…until I had to go home and be alone.
“So, you can stay here, or I can stay there. What’s it gonna be?”
When she got like this, I knew there was no arguing. Besides, I didn’t want to upset her when she was already so big, she was about to blow. I wanted her to be calm and relaxed, and if I was what made her calm, then so be it. “Alright.”
She visibly relaxed.
“But what about your mom?”
“What about her?”
“You don’t think that’s awkward?”
“I don’t care if it’s awkward. She lives with me, I don’t live with her. So, she can deal with it.”
I’d prefer if we had more privacy, but Sofia probably would be more comfortable here than at the hotel, so I dropped my reservations. “Alright. I’ll get my stuff, and I’ll be back.”
“Good.” She walked to the front door and opened it again. “Hurry.”
With my bag over my shoulder, I returned to the front door with hesitation in my veins. I knew I shouldn’t do this, but I couldn’t walk away either. When I got sucked into this beautiful connection again, it would just make it a million times harder to go back to my broken life. A few weeks of bliss would pass quickly, and then I would be back with Maddox, sitting across from him and trying to understand who he really was. That was my life now. This was just a glimpse…a dream of what I could have if things were different.
If I were a better man.
The door opened, and Sofia stood there, her eyes immediately going to my bag to make sure I’d followed directions. When it was clear I’d obeyed, she stepped aside and let me in.
I entered her large home and noticed all