just came out wrong. I explained it to her and she forgave me.”
“Yeah, and then he took her out sailing, where she threw up on him, and he said it was disgusting…to her face!” Hunter said, slapping Derek on the back.
“Okay, fine. I made a mistake. I’m not perfect, and I never said I was. But at least I didn’t stalk my woman for two weeks with Knight.”
“Who’s Knight?” Will asked. “And why did you stalk your girlfriend?”
“She’d just been kidnapped. I was making sure she was okay.”
“Why didn’t you just stay with her?” I asked curiously.
“She said she was okay.”
“Yeah,” Derek snorted. “This was after he proposed that he break into her apartment to make it look like she’d been burglarized, all so that she would call him to come to the rescue?”
“Hey, I didn’t go through with it,” Hunter grunted.
“Yeah, because Sinner pointed out how you would essentially ruin her life if you went through with it.”
“So, is this something you all do? Stalk your women and come up with insane plans to keep them?” I asked.
“Hey, our tactics may be…different, but they work,” Derek insisted. “Look at me.”
“Yes, look at you,” Eric smirked. “Dressing up as Superman to please your woman.”
“Hey, that was supposed to stay between us,” Derek snapped as the rest of us burst out in laughter.
“You dress up as Superman?”
“Hell yeah,” Hunter laughed. “We all walked in on it.”
“Do you wear glasses?” I asked.
“What about the red underwear? Please tell me you have pictures of this,” Joe pleaded with Hunter.
“No pictures,” he sighed, “but let me tell you, seeing him in spandex is something I will never get out of my mind.”
“Alright, that’s enough,” Derek said, narrowing his eyes at Hunter, who held up his hands in acquiescence. “Look, it’s simple. Claire likes adventure and I like to give it to her. What we do sexually is none of your business.”
“Hey, I totally get it,” Andrew said. “There Is A Superhero In All Of Us, We Just Need The Courage To Put On The Cape.”
I chuckled as Derek tossed an empty beer bottle at him. “Whatever. Laugh at me all you want. But at least I can say that I didn’t knock up my girlfriend or my one night stand. Is this going to be a thing with our family? See how many of us can knock up our girlfriends before we marry them?”
I glanced over at Eric, who looked a little pained by that statement. It hadn’t been that long since Angel died. I shook my head slightly at Derek, and he sighed, like he had just remembered.
“Sorry, man. I wasn’t thinking.”
“It’s fine. And it’s the truth.” He pointed to Andrew, Joe, and Will. “None of you better impregnate a woman or Ma will have a heart attack. I don’t know how she made it through me getting Kat pregnant.”
We all sat there for a moment before Joe burst out laughing. “Did you seriously just say impregnate?”
“Shut up, asshole,” Eric said, punching him in the shoulder. “I’m just saying, we don’t need to be known for one more thing around town.”
“The men that knock up women?” Will asked. “I can see the bets now on the town Facebook page. Who will be the next Cortell brother to get another woman pregnant, and who will that woman be?”
“Okay, now that you’ve all had a good laugh at my expense-“
“And mine,” Derek chimed in.
“Can we get back to the issue at hand? How the hell am I supposed to get Anna back, and then how do I keep Corduroy from slipping into my spot?”
“Easy,” Eric said first. “You apologize with donuts and coffee. That’s what I always do.”
I glared at him. “Really? Donuts and coffee? You’re her boss. That may be fine for you, but that’s not going to work for me. Hey, sweetie, I know I insulted you. Here are some sugary snacks to make you feel better.”
“He’s right. Donuts aren’t going to work on this one,” Will said. “I’ve seen this before with some of my friends.”
“What friends?” I asked curiously.
“I have friends,” he said defensively. “Anyway, you need something special. But don’t make it too special. You have to work your way up on this one.”
“He’s right,” Derek agreed. “You have to start with something simple. You don’t want to give her the nice gifts until you really fuck up.”
“Well, I already got her a house. How the hell do I top that?”
“You bought her a house?” Derek said incredulously.