this is the best firm in the city. You have no idea what it would take to start over.”
“But people trust you. I’m sure it wouldn’t be difficult for you to gain clients.”
“It’s not as simple as that. There are startup costs and I would have to take on partners so I could afford to run a business.”
She quirked her head at me. “Wouldn’t you rather own something for yourself than work for an ass like that?” My jaw clenched in anger. She had no idea what it would take to start over. “Robert, you have this amazing apartment, a fancy sports car, expensive suits, but you aren’t happy. You hate working for that man, yet you’re not willing to fight for something better.”
“Yeah? Like you?”
She flinched and took a step back. “Excuse me?”
“After your mom died, you took a job at a fucking gas station and stayed there for over ten years. You could have found something else. You could have applied for loans and gotten into school, but instead, you stayed at a dead end job until I came and pulled you out of that hell hole.”
Her eyes narrowed dangerously at me. “What the hell do you know? You left me!”
“You were halfway across the country. What the hell was I supposed to do? Was I supposed to give up everything and sit around waiting for you to come back?”
“You didn’t even say goodbye,” she spat. “The decision was made and you were gone. Do you know what that was like for me?”
“I was seventeen!”
“So was I! And don’t you dare judge me on how I lived my life. I’m the one that had to deal with everyone staring at me all the time. I’m the one that had to watch our child being taken away and handed to someone else. You weren’t there for that!”
“I couldn’t be!”
“You didn’t want to be. It was so much easier if you could just pretend like it didn’t happen, right? You moved on and forgot about everything. I had to deal with that for years. I was depressed for years, taking different medications to try and feel normal, like I hadn’t just thrown away a piece of myself!”
My whole body went rigid. I didn’t know any of this. No one had filled me in on what was going on with Anna. All that time I was in college, when I heard she returned, she was moving on with life. No one said anything about her struggling. No one said she was fucking depressed.
“Anna-“
She swiped at the angry tears that were falling down her face. “You want to know why I didn’t go find a better job? My mom was an alcoholic. She had racked up debt because she cared more about getting booze than paying bills. So, when she died, I had to pay those bills. I was struggling just to make myself go to work, let alone go get a college degree. And even if I wanted to, I couldn’t get a loan because I owed too much money.”
“I’m sorry,” I choked out. I had no idea.
“It doesn’t matter anymore. I moved past that years ago. I made myself stronger and vowed that no one would ever control my life like that again. I worked as much as I could and I paid off that debt and then I started saving, so I could give myself a life to be proud of. I took classes so that I could get a better job. You saw that. So don’t stand there and pretend like I just sat there and watched life happen. I fought for everything I have. I worked my ass off and look where I am! Maybe you think me working as your brother’s office manager is a shit job, but I love that job. Your brother relies on me, he respects me. And it has nothing to do with whether or not I have a fancy education. It’s because I work hard for him and I do my job.”
I just stood there in stunned silence. I didn’t know what to say. How could I have been so blind? Why hadn’t I talked to her after she got back? Why hadn’t I bothered to look in on her over the years? She had been my best friend, the love of my life, and I had abandoned her. I ran a hand through my hair and sighed. I knew now that there was nothing I could do to ever make