I mean, what if he’s cheating because she’s working so much or maybe she doesn’t put out.”
He slowly looked at me, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Would that be a good excuse for you?”
“No, and I’m not saying that it’s an excuse here either, but things happen when people feel abandoned.”
“Is that a shot at me?”
I grunted in frustration. “No, I’m just saying-“
“He could have been out working. He could have shared in the business with her, but he chose the easy route, and now he’s going to walk away with nothing.”
We pulled into his parking garage and memories of my weekend with him assaulted me. Where would I be sleeping? I hoped he didn’t think I would share a room with him. The ride in the elevator was filled with tension as we approached his floor. I was so nervous, and not just because of what I had to do tomorrow, but because I remembered the things he did to me the last time I was here. But as much as I wanted Robert, that would be a terrible idea.
I walked into his apartment and immediately headed for the window to look outside. I needed a distraction, anything to keep me from thinking about what I really wanted right now. Robert walked up beside me, sliding his hands into his pockets.
“We haven’t finished discussing payment.”
I startled and stepped back, gaping at him. “What?”
His eyes twinkled as he stared at me and I realized that he was talking about how much he would pay me. That was the only reason I had agreed to do this. I needed a solution to my problem and one appeared. But now that I was here, I felt terrible about accepting. Shouldn’t I be doing this for old times sake? He used to be someone that I loved. Was it really too much to ask to help him out just because he needed it? No matter how much I wanted that money, I couldn’t go through with it. It felt wrong on so many levels. Besides, this wasn’t the way I wanted to buy my own place. It felt like cheating.
“I don’t want your money,” I finally said.
“What?”
“I’ll help you out tomorrow, but I don’t want any money for it. Let’s just call it helping out a friend.”
He shook his head slightly. “No, that wasn’t the agreement.”
“Well, that’s the agreement now. Robert, I don’t want your money. I mean, I was tempted, but it doesn’t feel right.”
He grabbed my hand, but I quickly pulled it away. I didn’t want to be drawn into him. “Anna, that was the deal. I’m not trying to buy you off or anything. I want to pay you for helping me.”
“You told me to name my price,” I said incredulously.
“Yes, because I really need your help. I’m not lying about that. And you’ll see tomorrow when you meet Rebecca. You’ll understand why I need you.”
“And I’ll help you, but I can’t accept your money.”
I turned and headed for the guest room, not even bothering to ask if I could use it. I had to get away from him. The way his eyes pleaded with me for help and the way he had come to me, needing me, left me with feelings that I shouldn’t have. We may be different people now, but that didn’t mean that everything I felt for him was gone. And if I wasn’t careful, I would get lost in him just like I had thirteen years ago.
I got ready for bed and laid down, but I couldn’t fall asleep. I kept thinking of how much I didn’t belong here. I could hear Robert moving around in the other room, and I wondered what he was thinking about. What was it like to live in a place like this and feel on top of the world? As I stared out the window, I could see how he liked it here. The skyline was brilliant to look at, but the apartment felt cold, and it had nothing to do with the temperature. This wasn’t a home. This was a place to hang your hat at the end of the night. But this wasn’t a place you lived.
I shoved the covers off and opened the door to grab a glass of water. Robert was in the living room, a glass of scotch beside him as he looked over a notepad. There were papers scattered all over the table in front of him and legal pads everywhere.