my shoulders. “We didn’t want anyone to know. Back then, we both believed we were worthless.”
Brady ended his life because he didn’t feel like he was worth anything?
Oh, my God.
I suck in a painful breath before I say, “He meant everything to me. I loved Brady with all of my heart. Didn’t he know that?”
Slowly Colton rubs his hand over my back. “He knew, Jade. He just couldn’t handle the abuse any longer. It broke him.”
Lifting my hand to my face, I cover my mouth to muffle the sob escaping my lips.
Brady was always so loving toward me. I try to remember our time together, but still, I can’t find any signs that Brady was being abused at home.
“What happened the night he… he…” I can’t bring myself to say the words.
Colton pulls his arm back and rests his elbows on his knees again. Staring out over the campus, he says, “When Brady got home from the party, he was upset.”
What did Hunter do to upset Brady?
Before I can voice the question, Colton continues, “We were in our room. Brady admitted to me that you were ready to take your relationship to the next step.”
My eyes widen, and I shift uncomfortably on the bench.
“He didn’t believe he deserved a girl like you. I tried to tell him he did and that your feelings for each other were all that mattered.”
I wipe a trail of tears from my cheek. It feels like my heart is splitting right down the middle. Back then, all I thought about was having sex with Brady, and not once did I consider that he might not be ready.
I close my eyes against the pain the realization causes.
“Our dad overheard the conversation, and he laid into Brady again.” Colton sucks in some air and lightly shakes his head. “I should’ve stayed at home, but I got so angry and not wanting to make things worse, I left.” Colton brings his devastated eyes to mine. “If I had stayed at home that night, Brady would still be here.”
I shake my head and impulsively wrap my arms around Colton, hugging him. “It was your father’s fault,” I try to console him.
And Hunter’s.
I’m about to ask the question when Colton pulls back and shakes his head at me. “It was also my mother’s fault and mine. We all knew he was an abusive bastard, but none of us did anything. We all worked our asses off to hide our dirty family secret.”
Knowing Colton needs to hear the words, I say, “Brady loved you so much. He always said how lucky he was to have a big brother like you.”
“Some big brother I was.” Colton chokes on the words, and my hand darts up to pat his back. “I wasn’t there when he needed me most. I left him to deal with that asshole all alone.”
“I’m so sorry, Colton,” I whisper. “I can’t begin to imagine how bad things were. I should’ve seen the signs as well.”
We sit in silence with our guilt and loss.
Knowing I could’ve done something to help Brady if only I had known, eats away at my soul. My tears dry up because I have no right to shed them. I let a loved one down, and it makes me wonder what else I’ve been blind to in my life.
I’m filled with numbing heartbreak and disappointment in myself as a human being.
Colton gets up, and a weak smile tugs at the corner of his mouth. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I know it doesn’t offer much closure, but I thought you should know why Brady committed suicide.”
I rise to my feet and nodding, I give his arm a squeeze. “Thank you. I really appreciate it. Are you going to be in town for a while? I’d like to meet up for coffee or dinner.”
Colton shakes his head. “I’m heading to Los Angeles for a meeting and then back home. But you have my number. Let’s stay in contact this time.”
I nod and struggle to keep the tears back as Colton leans down and folds me in a hug. “You were the best thing that happened to Brady,” he whispers.
Through a blur of pain, I try to smile at Colton. “Thanks for coming.” The words are thick, and my throat is starting to ache from the fight to not break down in front of Colton.
“I have to go, but I hope you’re happy here.” He glances around the campus again, and I take the moment to