I need those memories plaguing my brain. Not now, while I was barely clinging to sanity with Chase back in my life.
As soon as I was out of the room, I started running. I flew down the stairs and into the garage. I couldn't just sit down the hallway while Zed laid out the darkest, most disgusting parts of my life for my sister... for Lucas to hear. Nope, I needed to go far and fast. I was well overdue a run on my Ducati, anyway.
I snatched one of Zed's spare guns, tucking it into the back of my pants before climbing onto my bike. I didn't bother grabbing a jacket, but I wasn't stupid enough to go out unarmed again. Nor was I dumb enough to forego my helmet.
A minute later, I was tearing out onto the cold, dark streets of outer Shadow Grove. Totally alone. Only when I was miles away from Zed's house did I let the tight hold on my emotions slip. Silent tears flowed from my eyes as I drove, clouding my vision enough that I eventually needed to pull over. It was either that or risk a crash. Like I said, I wasn't dumb.
I reduced my speed and pulled into a scenic lookout somewhere in the hills above Shadow Grove, then climbed off my bike and tugged my helmet off to shake my hair out. The night air turned my wet cheeks cold, and I swiped my hand over them in a pathetic attempt to dry my face.
It was pointless, though. So I just sat my ass down in the grass and curled my arms around my knees, crying soundlessly.
I should have known better, though. I wasn't alone. Not anymore, not ever again. I'd barely sat my ass down there in the damp grass before another motorcycle roared up the hill and parked beside mine. Then a moment later, I was being hauled into Cass's lap as his strong, leather-coated arms wrapped around me in a hug that made me feel like I could disappear.
We sat like that for ages, him rubbing my back as my eyes leaked endlessly against his warm chest. But it simply wasn't in my nature to wallow in self-pity for long. It served no good purpose. So after a while, I consciously started to calm myself. I controlled my breathing, relaxed my muscles, and forced the dark, panicked thoughts from my mind. I was strong. I was resilient. I was Hades.
All those things Zed was telling Seph, they were my past, but they’d helped shape me into the woman I was today. I refused to be ashamed of that.
"There she is," Cass whispered when I sat up and met his sad eyes.
I leaned in and kissed him softly, conveying all my thanks in that gesture. Then I climbed out of his lap and rolled my shoulders, shaking off the weakness.
"How'd you find me?" I asked as we headed back to our bikes.
Cass shot me a sly wink. "I have my ways, Angel."
He trapped me with his hands on my waist before I could get back on my bike, leaning in to kiss me again, then just holding me until I was so damn calm I could have happily fallen asleep right there in his arms.
"It's better that she knows," he rumbled as he released me.
I nodded. "I know. I should have told her a long time ago, but..." I'd always claimed I wouldn't tell her because I didn't want to hurt her. I didn't want to ruin her memories of a loving father or taint her view of the world.
But that wasn't the real reason. I was just too scared, too ashamed to admit my own part in the myriad of mistakes I'd made as a teenager. I didn't want to see her judgment, or worse than anything, I didn't want to see her pity.
"Come on," Cass rumbled. "Zed and Lucas will be having kittens by now, worrying about you."
I snickered quietly at that imagery, then pulled my helmet on. Cass did the same, wearing Zed's helmet once again, and I nodded to him. "Race you home?"
Cass's muffled laugh warmed me. "Deal. Winner gets his dick sucked." Then he took off without waiting for me to be ready. Dirty cheater.
He knew exactly how to cheer me up, though, because by the time we got back to the house, I was grinning under my helmet and my whole body felt lighter.
We pulled into the garage and waited for the door