Click to Subscribe - By L. M. Augustine Page 0,44

reaches out to touch me, shaking her head, but I push her hand away. “Stop,” I say, and she jerks away like she’s been slapped.

“West, you’re right,” Cat whispers. “We are best friends. We are brother and sister, or whatever you want to call it, and we always will be. But that doesn’t mean we can’t try to be something else too. That doesn’t mean we can’t love each other.” She shifts closer, starting to stand up now. “But let me tell you, West, no matter what happens, no matter where you go, I will also always be in love with you. And you don’t have to love me back. Hell, you don’t need to ever talk to me again. Will I be hurt? Yes. Will I want you back? Yes. But it will all still be worth it, because you have made it worth it. Because loving you has made it worth it.”

Without another word, she stands up, walks across the boardwalk, gathers her clothes, and disappears out of sight.

I find myself sitting there, alone on the boardwalk, staring out at the vast expanse of lake with no idea what to do next.

Chapter 13

I trudge home after that, kicking random rocks as I go, feeling utterly miserable and empty inside. Cat drove off without me, so I walk the distance across town by myself. I keep my head down and my face blank, and the whole way, all I want to do is collapse in a heap and hope everything will magically get better. It’s night out, and the sounds of passing cars and hooting owls keep me from going crazy as I keep on walking.

When I get home, I don’t say a word. I just look at my dad, who’s still sitting in his usual spot in the kitchen and head up the stairs without eating dinner, take a shower, and go straight to bed.

The rest of the weekend passes in a blur. I stay in my room the whole time, lying in bed and watching TV on my phone, only leaving to use the bathroom and eat. When Monday rolls in, I spend it entirely depressed. I don’t talk to anyone, don’t vlog, don’t pay attention to any of my classes, and I don’t even run into Cat. I go straight home the second classes are over, lock myself in my room, do homework, and sleep some more. It’s like that for almost the entire week, and I swear I haven’t felt worse since Mom died. I feel so depressed, so tired, like I can’t move, can’t do anything; I only have the willpower to sit in the corner and cry.

I miss Cat. Five days have passed since I last saw her, and I miss her badly. I wish I could get the courage to talk to her again, but I can’t and I don’t think I ever will again. We’re drifting apart, I’ve realized, and we have been ever since she first told me she loved me.

Maybe we weren’t meant for each other after all.

Finally, on Friday, I have my first human interaction in almost a week, with no one other than my dad. As soon as I push open the front door on my way home from school, drop my backpack off, and start to head back upstairs to my Room o’ Sorrow, Dad steps in front of me.

“What have you been doing?” he says in a low voice.

I sigh. Not this again. “Nothing.”

“You’ve barely left your room, West.”

“So nice of you to finally notice something about me,” I mutter, trying to push past him. This is the absolute last thing I need right now.

He holds me back. “I’m being serious, West.” His eyes lock with mine. “What is going on?”

I shake my head, forcing a laugh. “Wow, for a second there you had me fooled, old man. I almost believed that you actually cared about me.”

My dad steps forward, gripping my arm tighter. I can smell the alcohol in his breath from here. “It’s not an act,” he says. “I do care about you.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

I glare at him. “You’re an asshole,” I say.

He bites his lips, and it looks like he’s fighting back anger. I almost snicker. Clearly he doesn’t care about me. He just needs me to do him a favor, as usual. “What?” I say to him, not bothering to hide the disgust in my voice. “What is it you want from me? Money? Dinner? Something else?”

“West,” he says, exasperated. “I don’t fucking