violation. I had planned to avoid them in the future if at all possible, but not at the cost of my life. The only question was, could I do it?
I'd possessed a dark mage once, although I'd been shoved out of his body within a couple of minutes. And that was with Billy Joe to help me. I'd never brought Billy along on a shift before, but had foolishly hoped he might be a useful ally. He wasn't sounding real useful at the moment, however. He was still a gibbering wreck, and I couldn't even get his attention, much less ask for help.
But if Myra could do it, damn it, so could I.
Luckily, Augusta 's knowledge of warding was amateurish: if she could ward with more than one element, I never saw any sign of it. Her shields looked impressive-towering slabs of steel riveted together like the side of a battleship- but a closer examination showed spots so weak with rust that they were almost transparent. That's what you get for not maintaining your shields with a little daily meditation. If Augusta 's protection had been as strong as it looked, she might have been able to expel me before I could take over. As it was, my fire burned a hole through her metal with surprising ease.
Everything was suddenly brighter, sharper, and closer than before, and I found myself staring into my own frightened eyes. I put a hand over my mouth before Billy Joe could make a racket, but that seemed the wrong thing to do because he went berserk. I finally bit the bullet and slapped myself across the face. I tried to do it gently, but I think I miscalculated because Billy's eyes rolled up and for a second I thought he was going to pass out. "It's me," I hissed.
He slowly nodded. After a moment, he got his borrowed lips to work. "I need a drink," he told me in a shaky undertone. "I need a whole freaking brewery.”
"Are you okay?" He didn't look it. My face was pasty white and my mouth was trembling. "If you're going to be sick, tell me now.”
Billy laughed, and there was a disturbing hysterical note in it. "Sick? Yeah, I guess you could say I was sick. Ghost, human, ghost, human; hey, it's all good.”
I stared at him in concern. "I don't understand-”
"What's there to understand? I just died, that's all!”
"Billy," I said slowly, "you died a long time ago.”
"I died a long time ago," Billy repeated, mockingly. "I died today, Cass, in case you missed it! An encore performance, courtesy of Faerie! Oh, God.”
His face crumpled and he sank to the floor, shaking. I hugged him, finally realizing why Billy was freaking out. When he went through the portal, his new body had been ripped away. I'd known that would probably happen but hadn't thought about the ramifications. He possessed people all the time, including me, and it had never seemed to bother him when he had to leave. But I guess it was different with his own body. He hadn't been possessed; he'd been alive. And when he went through the portal, he had, in fact, died all over again. I hugged him harder, forgetting whose strength I had now, but let go when he gave a bleat of protest.
"I almost didn't come back this time, Cass," he said weakly. "It's not automatic, you know.”
"What isn't?”
"Becoming a ghost. Nobody keeps stats, or if they do, they're not telling me, but it's pretty damn rare! And I almost… I got lost… I wasn't here, I wasn't there and I couldn't see anything. All I could feel was a pull, trying to wash me away, and the only thing holding me was the sound of your voice. And then you started talking about leaving, and then I found out-" He broke off with a strangled gasp.
"Billy… I'm sorry." It seemed really inadequate, but what do you say to someone who has just died for the second time? Even Eugenie's upbringing fell short.
He grabbed hold of me, and I hadn't known my arms were that strong. "Never. Leave. Again.”
I nodded, but inwardly I was having a crisis only slightly less intense than Billy Joe's. I couldn't let go of Augusta unless I wanted a very pissed-off master vampire gunning for me, but I couldn't babysit a traumatized Billy all night while Myra ran loose. Something had to give.
I started to get up, hauling Billy with me, when someone grabbed