like it was a storm in itself.
“What was it like?” Tavia asked him.
He looked at her in questioning.
“Where you were,” she said, and then, softer, “What happened to you?”
Wesley stiffened, and she knew that she shouldn’t have asked. If he’d wanted her to know, then he would have told her. But the thing was, Wesley had a habit of never telling people things that would make him look weak. He had a habit of being too stubborn for his own good. It was why Tavia had wanted to get him a suit, to make him not just look more like himself, but to feel comfortable enough to relax a little. If he was relaxed, maybe she could get through to him.
She wanted Wesley to know that it was okay for him not to be okay.
“What did they do to you?” she asked.
“It wasn’t about me,” Wesley said. “It was about her.”
“Zekia?”
“She’s just a scared kid,” he said. “Ashwood is in her head and he has her thinking that this war is the only way she’ll ever be safe. She thinks that she’s protecting me and the rest of our people. I think that she’s afraid of what he might do if she starts to doubt him.”
“You’re wrong,” Tavia said.
She didn’t think Zekia was just a kid, following orders because she was too afraid not to. That kid had tried to kill them on the Kingpin’s isle and then she’d stolen Wesley—the only family Tavia had left—and did Many Gods knew what to him.
She wasn’t a child, she was a monster.
“She’s had it rough,” Wesley said.
“Well, excuse me if I don’t feel sorry for her,” Tavia said. “We’ve all had it rough, but when someone tries to kill the people that I care about, it kind of dampens my sympathy.”
“She wouldn’t have killed me,” Wesley said.
“Just her own sister, then?”
Wesley didn’t seem to have an answer for that, so he sighed instead. “You seemed to be the one who has a problem with Saxony,” he said.
“That’s nothing.”
“If it’s nothing, then get over it already.”
Tavia narrowed her eyes. “Yeah, I’ll take advice on holding grudges from you,” she said.
Gods, how had she forgotten how easily he got under her skin? Wesley could make Tavia mad in a moment and she wondered how in the fire-gates she’d actually missed it.
He was infuriating.
“How was Ashwood?” she asked, trying to distract the part of herself that wanted to argue with him.
Wesley barely mustered a shrug. “Mostly it was just me and Zekia and the shadow demons she got to rough me up when she got tired of me kicking her out of my head.”
His expression was blank and his tone was far too apathetic, like Wesley was talking about it happening to someone else, or like he didn’t care that it had happened to him.
Tavia cared.
She hadn’t seen a shadow demon before, but she’d heard enough stories to know that she never wanted to. They were the worst creatures in the four realms. They were death made visible and so Tavia couldn’t stop herself from grimacing at the mere mention of them.
Wesley saw it—he saw everything, even if he wasn’t looking at her—and so quickly he righted himself, adjusting those cuff links and putting on the smirk she hated.
“I didn’t see Ashwood much,” he said. “He probably thought that it was best to let Zekia wear me down. The lesser of two evils and all that. Plus he was busy destroying our city.”
“Is Creije really ready to fall?” Tavia asked.
Wesley nodded.
The rain soaked down Tavia’s legs.
She couldn’t stomach the thought.
“If we lose our home,” she said. “Then I . . .”
She trailed off, because she didn’t have an end to that sentence. If Creije was gone, then Tavia didn’t know what she would do.
“We won’t lose it,” Wesley said. “Ashwood might be good at being a murderous dictator, but I’m not so bad at it myself.”
“Trust you to make being a sociopath a competition,” Tavia said. “What if Creije is too far gone to save already? What if we don’t live to bring it back?”
“Skeht, Tavia,” he swore. “Can you try being a little more positive?”
“I’m just saying,” she said. “It’s not like we’re invincible.”
“You’re so morbid,” he scolded. “Trust me, it’s going to be fine. There isn’t a world where I’d ever let anyone hurt you. There isn’t a future that exists where you’re not okay. So drink your damn Cloverye and quit being such a huge downer on my first night.”
Tavia almost laughed,