The Circle (Hammer) - By Elfgren, Sara B.,Strandberg, Mats Page 0,145

her way among all her different personas.

Vanessa looks at the tall high-rises that surround her. She’s ended up near Linnéa’s place. She hears music coming from a few of the apartments around her. It’s Saturday night and she’s only just realised it. When did her life become so dull that she no longer has plans for a Saturday night? Getting drunk might help. Evelina and Michelle were talking about a party, she remembers.

Vanessa hesitates. She doesn’t want to be alone, but she doesn’t want to see them either. Michelle will obsess about Mehmet whom she’s just started dating and Evelina will whine that she’s never going to meet anybody, even though they all know she’s the best-looking of the three of them.

When was the last time she felt like seeing Evelina and Michelle? So much has happened in Vanessa’s life since last summer. There’s so much she can’t talk to them about.

It would have been easier to go back to being the old Vanessa. Christ, she wishes she could.

Vanessa looks up at the high-rises again. Maybe it isn’t pure chance that she’s ended up here.

She makes for the entrance to Linnéa’s building, takes the lift up to her floor and rings the bell. Nobody comes to open the door and she feels disappointed. It makes her realise how much she wants to see Linnéa.

Vanessa rings again, and hears a toilet flush. When Linnéa opens the door she’s wearing the same Dir En Grey shirt as she had that night with Jonte.

‘Hi,’ Vanessa says.

‘Hey,’ Linnéa answers.

‘What are you doing?’

‘Nothing.’

‘It’s Saturday night,’ Vanessa says. ‘Shouldn’t you be having fun?’

‘Who says I’m not?’ Linnéa says. She looks so grimfaced when she says it that Vanessa starts laughing.

Linnéa stares at her for half a second. Then she laughs, too. It turns into one of those hysterical, can’t-breathe-can’t-stop-laughing fits and Vanessa can’t even remember the last time she had one. They laugh till they almost choke, then make the mistake of catching the other’s eye, which sets them off again.

They sit opposite each other on the sofa and talk. A stream of morose-sounding boys and girls with guitars plays on Linnéa’s computer, but strangely it doesn’t depress Vanessa. Instead the music, with the dim red lighting, envelops her in a soft, warm sensation.

Their conversation flows naturally. Linnéa tells her what the Book of Patterns has revealed about protective magic. Vanessa tells Linnéa how she poured the serum into Gustaf’s cola, but leaves out the details of what he said. ‘You know I was with Gustaf once?’ she says instead.

When she registers the shock on Linnéa’s face she giggles. ‘For a whole afternoon in year one. I used to do this thing back then … Any boy who managed to swing in sync with me on the swings during break could be with me for the rest of the day.’

‘So you were cheap even then?’ Linnéa says, cackling harshly.

‘If only it was that easy to decide who to be with now,’ Vanessa says, and giggles.

They laugh as they recall when Ida was forced to confess that she was secretly in love with Gustaf. They talk about how five or six girls used to bike around his house, around and around, in the hope that he would look out of a window and see them. Magic or not, he’s always had girls under a spell.

Then they talk about Minoo and whether or not she’s a lesbian. Vanessa is convinced she is. Linnéa says definitely not.

‘I think I like her, but I don’t understand her. I can’t work out when she’s pissed off and when she’s just Minoo,’ Vanessa says.

Linnéa laughs and nods. ‘I think she may be a little pissed off with me,’ she says.

‘What for?’

‘A misunderstanding.’ Linnéa doesn’t elaborate.

‘We Chosen Ones are a pretty strange bunch,’ Vanessa says.

‘Aren’t we just? Look at the two of us,’ Linnéa says, and grins.

‘Who would’ve thought you and me would be sitting here like this? I’ve always like hated you. Or, at least, I’ve been jealous of you over the whole Wille thing.’ What am I saying? Vanessa wonders. But it feels okay. She had almost forgotten how it felt to be so relaxed. And she realises she needs to talk about Wille. Linnéa will understand. ‘I don’t want to break up with him,’ she says, ‘but he’s driving me crazy.’

‘Do you have to live with him?’

‘It’s complicated,’ Vanessa says. She can’t bring herself to explain why she isn’t living at home. It sounds so pathetic when she imagines the