Christmas Griffin - Zoe Chant Page 0,54

like it wasn’t her at all that he was touching. Her heart filled her throat.

Not wanting to wake him up, she gently slid into the bed beside him. She tucked herself against his side, the same way she had earlier in the evening, before she figured out that what he really needed was for her to leave. But it was different now, wasn’t it? He wasn’t hurting.

Even if she had to leave before he woke up, she could stay now. Just for a while.

‘Now’ turned into all night, and in the morning, there was no time to escape.

“Delphine?”

Hardwick ran his hand down her back, softly, almost tentatively, as though he was trying to convince himself that she was really there. Delphine had been dreaming—she couldn’t remember of what, just that it was soft, and easy, and the world felt right.

She opened her eyes and for a moment, her dream was real.

Hardwick was gazing at her with sleepy eyes. He looked as relaxed as he had done when he was asleep.

“You stayed,” he murmured.

“I couldn’t leave you here alone,” she said at once. On Christmas morning. And just like that, the spell was broken. “I—I mean—maybe I should have—or I should have left before you woke up, that’s what I meant to do—”

“Stop.” His sleepiness was all gone now; he looked alarmed. She was getting this all wrong. Even when she tried to tell the truth, she got it wrong. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Really?”

“Really.” He pressed his forehead against hers and the shining mate bond in her heart glowed. “No lies, remember?”

And then he kissed her. His hands slid under her pajama shirt, caressing her waist and the tense line of her back.

She should have kept saying nothing. That seemed like the intelligent thing to do. Instead, when he finally pulled away, she asked:

“Do you feel better? Yesterday, you were—” I was scared, she wanted to say. But this wasn’t about her.

He brushed a strand of hair off her face. “I won’t tell you I’m feeling one hundred per cent, but I’m... improved.” He snorted. “I could probably make it to breakfast without collapsing.”

Breakfast. With her family. Her thoughts must have shown on her face because Hardwick rested a gentle hand on her cheek.

“Or not,” he said. “Seeing as the thought of it makes you miserable.”

“It’s not only that. It’s the thought of them hurting you, and…” And something so much more selfish she almost stopped herself from saying it. “And hurting me, too. After spending time with you and being able to tell you the truth about what I am, being around my family… It’s so much work. And it feels as though I’m not me when I’m around them. I keep thinking, None of you know me at all. Maybe that’s a good thing!” Even as she said it, it felt less like a joke and more like another horrible truth she had been keeping from herself. “When the truth does eventually come out, at least they won’t all hate me. They’ll hate the fake version of me I’ve been feeding them all these years.”

“And who is the real version?”

“I—I don’t know. I’m worried she doesn’t exist, under all the lies.” A hard bubble of laughter forced its way out of her throat. “That’s the trick! I don’t know what I’m worried about. How can I really be hurt by my family if I don’t even really exist?”

“Delphine, you exist.” Hardwick’s caress was soft, but firm. “Of course there’s a real you. I know you. You just need time to figure yourself out.”

She shivered and pulled closer to him. “Not now.”

“If you hate every minute of being with your family anyway, why not tell them? And you have me in your corner, now. You won’t have to face them alone. Why not tell them today?”

“And ruin Christmas?”

“And finally have a Christmas you can enjoy on your own terms.”

For a moment, the idea tempted her. A moment that made her light-headed with adrenaline. “No,” she said quickly. “It’s not only my secret to keep. And I’m not the only one who’ll be hurt when it comes out. Not even the one who’ll be the most hurt.”

“I don’t see how that’s possible.” Hardwick’s voice was a possessive growl. “But it’s your decision to make. In which case…” He rolled over, pulling her with him. “We don’t need to see them at all. We stay here. Just us.”

“I—” Delphine bit her lip. “I’m confused.”

Stay here, instead of facing her family? Stay here,