Christmas Griffin - Zoe Chant Page 0,53

family. How could I be good enough for you?”

When his breathing eased and she could move without risking waking him up, Delphine crept away and tried to call the people she knew who lived locally. No luck. Jasper wasn’t picking up his phone, and neither was Jackson. Delphine left them both messages, outlining the situation in terms even more delicate than she would have used to extricate Mr. Petrakis from a disaster of his own making, and did not return to the hotel until much later that night. Until Hardwick had the rest he needed.

If he was asleep. God, she hoped he was. Not just because he needed it—though a better, less corrupted mate probably would have only wanted it for that reason. She wanted him to be asleep when she returned because she didn’t want to return to the conversation that had hurt so much earlier.

She knew what he’d been about to say. And she didn’t want to hear it.

That she wasn’t a real Belgrave.

That everything she’d ever feared was true, and she was the weak link that would tear her family apart.

By the time she crept back into her room, Hardwick was dead to the world. She hoped he hadn’t even noticed she was gone. And she waited by the doorway, watching him like a hawk, until she could convince herself that her presence wasn’t hurting him even in his sleep.

She closed the door softly and tried not to feel as though she was breaking into her own room. She hadn’t even been this self-conscious when she actually broke into Hardwick’s life.

But she hadn’t known what she did to him, then.

So she held her breath, and tip-toed, and brushed her teeth and changed into her pajamas, constantly on edge that she would make a noise, or bump into something, or that just the sheer power of her presence would be enough to drag Hardwick from his hard-won sleep.

Eventually, though, there was nothing else for it. She had to go to bed.

If only the hotel room had a sofa. Or even an armchair. The single desk chair crammed in one corner would be impossible to curl up in, but—maybe there was an extra blanket in the cupboard. She could camp out on the floor, or...

While she was dithering, she’d walked—crept—closer to the bed.

Hardwick was lying on his back. He had one arm thrown up over the pillow, and his face was the most peaceful she’d ever seen it.

Guilt twisted in her stomach. Of course she’d never seen him look peaceful. Because she’d always been there. Hurting him with her very presence.

And he hadn’t said anything. Not until she’d forced it out of him.

She should have said more, today. She should have found some way to save him from having to meet her family. From having to see her around her family.

Without lying to them about why they needed to stay away.

That would be the trick. And that was another problem. If it was a trick, would it work, or would it only make Hardwick’s condition worse?

If lying to help still hurt him, what was left?

She knew what he would say. Tell the truth.

Could she?

She looked down at him. The deep lines that etched his face had softened in sleep; he looked younger. Relaxed. She suddenly realized how constantly on edge he must be around other people. Whoever he was with, whatever they were talking about, he was just waiting for someone to stick a knife into his head and twist it.

He’d come all the way out here to recover after a year of using his abilities to help people, and she’d burst into his life like a custom-designed weapon.

She stepped closer. He didn’t stir.

Maybe she could do better.

There had been a moment, hadn’t there, when he’d looked at her without flinching? Not counting that incredible, exhilarating evening they’d spent making love. That couldn’t count, she decided; it felt too unreal. Too raw and perfect. But after that, when they each knew the other’s secret and before he’d started asking and asking her about her family, there had been... comfort.

She closed her eyes and focused on the light inside her. The mate bond—lodged in her heart, with the delicate strand of gold connecting her to Hardwick. Every time they’d touched, kissed, understood each other, it felt stronger.

But it was still so delicate.

She reached out to touch Hardwick’s face and he rolled towards her, his hand coming up to hold hers. He was still asleep. Still looking relaxed, and calm, and