a very humiliating conversation.
“You went online, looking for a girlfriend?”
He tensed. “Kaitlyn told you.”
“Of course she told me. She tells me everything. She loves me.”
The reality of what she’d just said slammed into her and she had to clutch the bookcase to stay standing. The affection she felt for Kaitlyn went both ways. They needed each other. How was she supposed to fight against that?
“I’m aware of her feelings,” Cameron admitted. “What happened Friday got me thinking about a lot of things. I realized that I haven’t been fair to either of you. I’ve let things go along as they were, without making sure everyone understood the rules.”
By everyone he meant her. Her strength returned and she straightened. And glared.
“So you thought you’d help both of us by looking for a relationship on the computer?” she demanded.
“I thought if I started seeing someone—” He cleared his throat. “—in that way, Kaitlyn would become less attached to you.”
She got the truth then. It cut through her cleanly, a sharp blade against her soft heart.
She’d told herself he wasn’t ready. That he had suffered through a horrible divorce, after his wife had simply walked away from him and their newborn child. She’d convinced herself that he was wary of relationships and love and that given time he would see they were perfect together. She’d thought that Let’s stay friends had meant not now, maybe later. Instead he’d been telling her no.
It wasn’t that Cameron didn’t want to be with anyone, it was that he didn’t want to be with her.
Rina’s eyes burned, but she refused to cry. Not here, not in front of her coworkers and Cameron and most especially not in front of Kaitlyn. Hope and love and dreams battled with cold, hard reality. As much as she wanted to ignore the truth, she couldn’t. Not anymore.
“You’re wrong,” she said slowly. “About finding someone else. I have been there for you all this time. I know you like me and the way you kissed me proves...” She drew in a breath. “But you don’t want to go there. Fine. We won’t. I told you that I loved you and the first thing you did was try to go out with someone else.”
She linked her hands together in front of her waist and thought about what it would be like once he stopped looking and started dating. Of being at his house in the evening, taking care of his child, knowing he was out with someone else. She couldn’t do it.
“I’m leaving.”
He stood. “Leaving? Where are you going? What do you mean?”
She wasn’t sure, but as she stood there, the answer came to her. “After the first of the year, I’ll be moving my business out of here. You’ll need to find someone else to take care of Kaitlyn. I want there to be a gradual transition so she’s not upset, but you need someone else for daycare.”
“You’re cutting us out of your life? You said you wouldn’t do that. I thought you cared about us.”
“You’re wrong. I didn’t care. I don’t care. I love you both.” She stared into his eyes. “That’s a whole lot more than caring.”
“Then stay.”
“No. You don’t get to have it both ways. I’ve spent a year waiting for you to realize I was the one. That’s enough time wasted.”
With that she turned and left. Her heart pounded hard in her chest and she wasn’t sure how long she could keep from crying. The sense of emptiness and loss nearly brought her to her knees. But behind the pain and fear and need to turn back and say, “Yes, fine, half a life is good enough for me,” was the belief that she’d made the right decision.
It hurt now. It more than hurt. But with time and a little determination, she would recover. And, she thought, a little help from Fool’s Gold wouldn’t hurt either.
CHAPTER FOUR
JO’S BAR WAS a gathering place for the women of Fool’s Gold. While the men had a room in back with a pool table and sports playing on TVs, the main portion of the bar was dedicated to women. The walls were painted a skin-flattering mauve, the large-screen TVs featured shopping channels and female-friendly reality shows and the menu included plenty of calorie-light options. During the day, one corner was turned into a play area for toddlers. While Friday and Saturday night brought in the couples crowd, the rest of the time, Jo’s Bar was a place for women to