“Tell me what you are feeling.”
She took a breath. Let it out. Her fingers twisted together and her gaze found his again and dropped away. “None of this makes any sense to me. I don’t understand how I can have feel . . .” She broke off abruptly with a small sob before catching herself. “Feelings for him and yet you responded to me.” He kept his gaze steady on hers.
She nodded. “What does that say about me? I must be a terrible person. I want you. Your body. Your voice. Everything you do or say makes me respond to you, but my feelings, my heart . . .”
He swept back her hair and studied her face. Her expression. Her eyes. She wasn’t making it up. In fact, she was finding it difficult to tell him. This wasn’t a bid for sympathy. She looked miserable. Horrified even. Totally confused. And that confused him. She really didn’t know what was happening to her. How could a Carpathian woman not understand the powerful ties between lifemates?
She shook her head, choking back a sob, rocking back and forth. “What’s wrong with me? How can my own body betray me like that?”
His teeth snapped together in a hard bite. His sympathy was gone that fast. Her body betrayed her? “I. Do. Not. Think. So.” His voice was pitched low. But it thundered through her body as it was meant to do. She winced back and bit her lip hard. Even that wasn’t going to get her out of trouble.
His hand whipped out and he bunched that long hair in his fist, pulling her head back before she could hide her face from him.
“You understand something, Gabrielle. Get this straight. You betrayed me. Your body belongs to me. Not him. Your body knows what it is doing. You, however, do not, but you had better learn fast or you are going to find your life is miserable until you do. You owe me allegiance. I gave you every chance to live your life without me, but you chose. You chose. I told you there would be no going back. You cannot survive without me now, nor I you. So learn this now. You belong to me. Your body. Your heart. Your soul and that treacherous, betraying mind of yours.”
Gabrielle flinched with every blow he dealt her. It felt as if he’d punched her repeatedly over and over, right in her gut. She was grateful her knees were drawn up tightly or she would have doubled over. As it was, she felt bile rise. Her body had betrayed her. At the same time he was right. He was right about her. She wasn’t worth anything at all. She was disloyal to Gary. Her beloved Gary. Gary, who represented all things human. He represented kindness and security. She wasn’t ready to throw that comfort away and embrace this wild, rough man who demanded not only her allegiance, but her body, soul, heart and mind. Everything. He would take everything away from her.
She was already stripped bare. He despised her. She was terrified of him and the life they would lead together. There was nowhere to go. Nowhere to run. She knew she was tied to him, and not just through their blood-bond and their soul-bond. She knew she wouldn’t be able to go long without feeling his body inside of her. His mouth on her. She would burn for him. She was addicted to his taste. To his touch. To his cock.
She covered her face with her hands and wept, uncaring if he saw her or not. She was lost. So incredibly lost. Was it possible for her to meet the dawn without harming him? For a moment, that seemed the only answer.
His hands pulled hers down and he looked at her face. She knew the moment his green eyes went dark that he saw what she was thinking. He didn’t enter her mind and she was grateful for that, but he looked more terrifying than ever.
“You will not even consider such a thing.”
There was no trying to look innocent and she’d promised him the truth. So let him hear it. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. I’ve never been with a man. I know nothing of lifemates . . .”
“What family would not teach their daughter about lifemates?” Skepticism was in his voice.
“I told you. I am human. Was human,” she corrected. Hadn’t she told him? He had been so frightening. So out of control. It was possible he hadn’t heard her. She couldn’t remember what had been said or not said. “I was stabbed repeatedly by members of a human society who hunt vampires and I nearly died. I guess I did die and was reborn Carpathian. I don’t know why they targeted me. But Mikhail, the prince of the Carpathian people, converted me.”
Aleksei looked at her, his eyes burning right through her, but she couldn’t tell from his expression if he believed her. Still, she plowed on.
“I’m psychic, from a family of psychics, and in case it is news to you, psychics can be converted without fear they will go mad. My sister is lifemate to a Carpathian. I don’t know what I’m doing. I can’t take blood by myself. I can’t sleep in the ground, and I don’t know anything at all about lifemates.”
She lifted her chin and glared at him defiantly. “You got yourself a real bargain. I don’t know the first thing about being your lifemate. I don’t know how to be Carpathian, and I’ve loved Gary for a very long time. So not only did I inadvertently betray you, I betrayed him and I betrayed myself. So don’t think you’re all alone in this mess I’ve made. I pretty much screwed everyone.”
There. She’d told him her sad tale and hoped he believed her because she wasn’t going to repeat herself again. He might as well know the worst about her.
Aleksei stared at her for so long she was afraid she might just scream. There was absolute silence inside the four walls. Not even a whisper of movement. He was that still. A predator watching her, wholly focused on her. A cold chill crept down her spine. Her heart slammed hard and began to accelerate. Her blood went cold.
“This man you say you love. He is a Daratrazanoff. He knew better.”
She knew in that moment that he would hunt down Gary and kill him. It was there in his eyes. That dark green that glittered with menace and ruthless intent. Aleksei really was part savage, as untamed as any of the wildest predatory animals roaming the earth. He was going to kill Gary, and she was certain he had the knowledge and skill to do it in spite of all the knowledge Gary had acquired when they converted him.
Gabrielle shook her head. “He wasn’t. He was human, too. He became friends with Gregori Daratrazanoff.” She swept a hand through her hair, suddenly exhausted, so tired she could barely lift her hand. She didn’t want to do this. “This isn’t Gary’s fault. We had feelings for each other before we were converted. I had no comprehension of being someone’s lifemate or what that would entail.”
“Your sister is a lifemate to someone and she was human like you.” The words were a low accusation.
She was intelligent. She had known. She hadn’t wanted to know, but deep down, where she was good at hiding from herself, she had known there was the possibility. She’d just convinced herself it wouldn’t happen because she was too afraid. She didn’t want someone to consume her. She didn’t want that side of her nature she kept hidden, she repressed and pushed away, ever coming out—like he had brought out in her.
She moaned softly in despair. There was no going back. He wouldn’t let her. She knew that, she knew by his implacable expression and the hardness in his green gaze. He had said she was wild. That she matched him. She didn’t want that. She was afraid of who she was. What lengths would she go to? He would rule her life if she allowed it and she was very, very afraid she would if she didn’t find the courage to fight him.
“You will forget this man, Gabrielle. If you do not, I will kill him. You do not know me, so you cannot know I do not make idle threats. He has no right to any part of you and I refuse to share you with him.”
“I would hate you forever if you killed him,” she whispered.
His hand tightened in her hair, forcing her to stare into his eyes. “If this man is in your mind and heart, there is no room for me,” he said. “You gave yourself to me. All of you. Are you a woman of your word?”