Her wide, shocked eyes leapt to Andre. He saw the terror there. The shame. The humiliation. Her eyes darted to the side and Andre followed her gaze. His heart stopped beating in his chest. His breath stilled in his lungs. Dorina, beautiful, vibrant Dorina, so full of love and laughter, so generous, lay like a broken doll on the ground, flung away from the undead after he’d tortured her, and taken her blood.
She wasn’t dead. Ciprian hadn’t even given her that final mercy. She lay dying, her last sight that of the vampire forcing her beloved youngest child to drink the blood of her son as he suffered, staked to the wall.
“You brought me here, boy. I followed your scent right to them.” Ciprian threw back his head and laughed, the sound more of a shriek. Ciprian who, like his sister, had looked right through Andre when he was a boy, now wanted him to feel guilt.
Teagan gasped. The blow to Andre was so gruesome, so brutal, Teagan knew she was going to vomit. She tore herself out of Andre’s arms, leapt off his lap and raced for the next chamber. She wasn’t going to throw up in front of him. How had he survived such a thing? How? Tears blinded her and she nearly ran into the walls of the cave. She went to her knees, gagging and wretching up bile.
How? It wasn’t possible to survive something like that. Not whole. Not intact. She wanted to scream and throw things. She wanted to wrap her arms around Andre and keep him safe. She wanted this terrible, hideous memory wiped from him for all time, but she knew—she absolutely knew—that wasn’t going to happen.
“Teagan.”
Her heart fluttered. Melted. She knelt on the floor, the back of her hand pressed tight against her mouth, desperate to stop what she couldn’t stop. It wasn’t over. She had to know everything. He would want to stop. She already felt it in her mind, but there were those four scars on him, when even a vampire punching a hole in his chest didn’t scar him. Those scars had come from somewhere, just as the ones in his mind did.
“I’m all right, Andre. Just give me a minute. I need my toothbrush. And water. I need water to rinse out my mouth.” She didn’t look at him. She didn’t want to see compassion on his face. Not for her. Not after what had happened to him. Not when the wound was still so bloody and raw.
“I should never have exposed you to such brutality. You are far too sensitive, csitri. I can remove the memory from your mind.”
The gentleness, the sweetness in his voice, brought a choking lump to her throat. How had he become such a beautiful man when he’d gone through so much? He should be damaged beyond fixing, and yet he was so careful with her.
“Don’t. I don’t want you to erase anything from my mind, Andre,” she protested. “As long as you remember this, I will remember it, too. And I want all of it. Not just this part. As soon as my teeth are brushed, you give me the rest.”
His hands spanned her waist and he lifted her onto her feet. “No.”
She turned in his arms, caught the front of his shirt in her fist and gave the material a little shake. “You don’t get to say no to me. Not over something this important. If you mean what you said, and I’m your lifemate or whatever you said in your language, then you don’t get to say no to me. This is important to both of us, not just you.”
He touched her face gently, his fingers following the trail of her tears. He lifted his hand away and looked at the wet pads of his fingers.
“It isn’t for them,” Teagan whispered. “I feel terrible for them, but it was a long time ago and they’re somewhere they can’t hurt anymore.”
His blue eyes searched her dark ones. “For me? These are for me?”
She nodded. “I wish I was a better healer, Andre. I’d take the pain and sorrow away. I’m sorry I’m not.”
He shook his head, staring down at her broodingly for what seemed an eternity, his beautiful, deep blue eyes drifting over her face with a hint of possession in them. “Go brush your teeth, then, Teagan. Be certain this is what you want.”
He was what she wanted, and this terrible event had been the defining moment of his life. She needed to know, to share it with him, no matter the cost to her. She lifted her gaze to his, held it. “I am absolutely certain.”
He pushed a hand through his hair and then gripped the back of his neck as if it ached. “Teagan.”
Her name again. He did that a lot, mostly when he was exasperated with her. Or she’d done something he couldn’t quite get.
She held up her hand. “If what you said to me is the truth, Andre, and you belong to me, then this is my right. I need to understand. We’re very different. If we’re going to work, I need this information or I’m going to be stepping all over you without knowing it. Are you mine?”
He nodded his head slowly, his eyes suddenly soft. Just that look alone sent her heart tumbling and the butterflies fluttering.
“Well then, it’s settled,” she said firmly. She looked around for her backpack. She needed a small time-out so she could gather herself. Her legs were shaky and her eyes burned like hell, but she could do this. She would do this, no matter the cost to herself, because someone had to be in his life. Someone had to love him and care for him. Most of all, someone had to “see” him.
She looked over her shoulder at him as she removed her toothbrush and toothpaste from her pack. “You’re not a ghost, Andre. Not to me. Never to me. I do see you and I’ll always see you.”
Because she was his woman and she was going to make this work. Somehow. Blood-taking aside, she’d make it work. Andre needed her, and deep down, where she kept all her secrets, she knew she needed him as well. She turned away from him. “I need water for rinsing out my mouth. This is just gross.”
Andre stood there just watching Teagan, his body utterly still. She had cried for him. Cried. Real tears. For him. He could love her for that alone. Are you mine? Such a simple question, but it meant everything to him. She was giving herself to him. I do see you. I’ll always see you. He had no idea a woman could wrap herself so tight inside a man that he couldn’t find breath without her. You’re not a ghost. He closed his eyes briefly just to savor the soft sound of her voice breathing life into him.
He wrapped his arm around her from behind, a cup of water in his fist. She took it and gave him a small smile over her shoulder. Just a flash of her rich, dark chocolate eyes. A deep, melting brown. Liquid. She tried to look stern at times, or tough, he was never quite certain what look she was going for because to him everything she did, every expression, was adorable. Cute. Beautiful.
“Thanks, Andre. I’ll be finished in a minute.”
He heard the warning in her voice as she turned back to rinse her mouth and brush her teeth. She was determined to see this through. He didn’t want that for her. She really was too sensitive. He needed her to know why he had to make the decisions he made, but he didn’t want her traumatized for life. Still, she was determined and she was impressive in her determination.