“What is it, baby?” he asked as gently as possible.
She looked upset, and he didn’t blame her. She was dealing with too many things at once.
“Why? Why did you use me like that?”
For a moment he thought she was talking about sex, but when he looked at the expression on her face, the raw hurt there, he knew what she meant. Her question was a potential bomb. How could he answer that without her feeling even more betrayed? He had betrayed her.
Eli was acutely aware of what she’d said about making the choice between Cordeau and him. She wanted honesty. She even deserved honesty. He sat on the edge of the tub and kept his eyes on her face even while one hand trailed in the water to make certain it wasn’t too hot for her.
“Looking the way I do, Cat, rough and mean, gives me a certain edge in the kind of work I do. Being a leopard helps me to have a better than average rate for arresting and prosecuting very bad men. What I’m saying is, I go undercover a lot. I live undercover for months at a time. Most of it is bad. Most of it sucks. You live in the dirt long enough, baby, and it rubs off on you.”
“But you believe in what you do.” She propped herself up on one elbow, watching him just as closely as he was watching her.
He was surprised at that insight. More, he was surprised at her interest. He felt his way carefully, afraid they were doing a little dance and he didn’t yet know the steps. Still, he wasn’t going to lie to her. Not again. She asked him a question, and she was going to get an answer whether or not she wanted to hear it – or he wanted to give her one.
“It’s what I dedicated my life to. My parents were murdered because they were in the wrong place at the wrong time. They’d gone to visit old friends, took a wrong turn and got caught in the middle of a drug deal gone bad. I was just a kid, but I guess that was what first made me decide I wanted to get into law enforcement.”
She had pulled up the sheet but it barely covered her breasts. He could see the pale curve of the swell and there were a few marks there. His marks. Had she not been a virgin he would have said the hell with the bath and pounded into her all over again. His cock jerked at the thought of teaching her the things he liked. At the thought of doing the things to her body that she was going to like.
“So is part of your job seducing women?”
Shit. Fuck. Son of a bitch. How the hell was he going to answer that? “I didn’t seduce you, Cat. I was very, very careful to keep my hands off you, and it wasn’t easy. Right from the beginning I knew you were different. You got under my skin. I wasn’t going to go there with you. Not you.”
She caught her lower lip between her teeth, instantly drawing his gaze, reminding him he wanted to bite her lower lip himself. She was beautiful, bruises and all. Even with dark shadows beneath her eyes and suspicion and hurt in all that wild blue.
“So the answer is yes, you do or have seduced other women as part of your job.”
He nodded slowly. “Unfortunately yes. It isn’t a part of the job I enjoy, but sometimes it’s the only way inside an organization I’m penetrating, or the only way I can get information.”
“What makes you different from a prostitute? She trades sex for money, you trade sex for information.”
He winced and reached out to turn off the taps. “I never looked at it like that. It’s never comfortable, Catarina, and I’m not particularly proud of it, but I wormed my way into a human trafficking ring by sleeping with a fucking bitch who acquired young girls. I shut that shit down. Am I sorry I slept with the skank? Do I wish I didn’t have to do it? Hell yeah. But I closed it down and a hell of a lot of young girls were rescued and more saved from being forced into that kind of life.”
He worked at keeping the edge out of his voice, but he didn’t like having to justify himself and his choices. He stalked across the room and yanked the covers back, exposing her naked body. For the first time he was able to really look at her body. The evidence of his possession was on her thighs, along with trickles of blood.
She had a gorgeous body. Her curves were definitely lush and soft. Her skin was satin, her hair silk. Even the tiny curls at the junction of her legs looked soft and silky. She blushed and reached for the sheet. He bunched the material in his fist and kept her from pulling it over her.
“I’m putting you in the bathtub, woman. You have to get used to being naked around me.” He caught her up, cradling her close to him. Their combined scent made him hard all over again. He liked the way they smelled together, hot and primal and straight out of a rain forest.
She was forced to reach back and hook his neck with one arm. The action lifted her breast toward his mouth. He dipped his head and licked at the nipple. She did a full body shiver and her breath rushed out of her lungs.
He set her down, feet first, in the tub and she sank low, holding the thick mass of hair out of the water. He had forgotten that her hair would be everywhere. He stepped behind her, gathered the heavy fall in his hand and deftly tied a loose knot on top of her head.
“I think we need to get something straight,” she said, not looking at him again.
“Eli,” he prompted.
Her blue gaze darted to his. She made a face. “Eli, then. It’s important for you to know that even though I totally screwed up, it doesn’t change anything. It was sex. That’s all. Sex. There is no reason for me to get comfortable being naked around you. I don’t plan on being naked often. In fact, I prefer that you’re not in the room while I’m taking a bath.”
He didn’t take his eyes from her face the entire time she made her little speech. He felt slow amusement start somewhere in the vicinity of his gut, climb into his chest so his heart felt lighter and a small smile finally reached his mouth.
“Did I say something funny? Because you’re smirking and it isn’t very nice.”
“Yeah, you said something funny. Kitten, we didn’t just have sex. That was off-the-chart sex and you know it. I look at you and get hard. You look at me and burn between your legs. You think I don’t know when a woman wants me? We’re going to have sex, as you so delicately put it, often and in ways you can’t imagine in your wildest dreams. So it is very important that you are comfortable being naked around me. And comfortable talking about sex, what you like and what you don’t.”
“I don’t like you smirking and being so sure of yourself,” she said. Her blue eyes flashed a deep violet that only made her all the sexier to him.
“At least you know your partner knows what the hell he’s doing. You’re in good hands.”