half-eaten munchies scattered around.
‘We’re having a sleepover,’ Lauren explained.
‘Then I’ll join you,’ James grinned.
‘Oh no you won’t.’
James gave Bethany a wave. ‘Hi, Bethany.’
‘Drop dead, James.’
James giggled. ‘That’s not nice.’
‘Nor’s calling me a cow.’
The other three girls were all sitting up in their sleeping bags, watching the drama in the doorway. They were whispering and shaking their heads. Lauren was totally embarrassed.
‘Go to bed, James,’ Lauren repeated, shoving her brother back out of the room.
‘OK, I will,’ James nodded. ‘Can I come in and have a quick pee first? I’m busting.’
Lauren backed away from her door. ‘Go on then. I suppose you’re satisfied now that you’ve woken five people up? Make sure you lift up the seat for once, as well.’
James stumbled over the legs inside the sleeping bags and walked into Lauren’s bathroom. She bunched her fists and grimaced at her sleepy friends.
‘Brothers,’ she huffed. ‘I’m really sorry about this.’
Bethany smiled sympathetically. ‘You don’t need to tell me about them.’
‘I like the bobble hat,’ one of the sleeping-bag girls giggled. The three others joined in the laughter, but Lauren wasn’t in any mood to see the funny side.
James flushed the toilet and staggered back over the sleeping bags, but this time he managed to stick his foot in a plate of nachos, spewing crumbs and dip over the floor.
‘Oh, crap,’ James gasped, crouching down and scooping up some of the dip with his bare hand.
‘James, you’re rubbing it all in,’ Lauren said furiously. ‘I’ll do it, just get out of here.’
‘Sorry,’ James said as he opened Lauren’s bedroom door to leave. ‘Goodnight.’
Lauren stamped her foot as she shut the door behind her
brother. ‘Idiot.’
‘Don’t get upset about it, Lauren,’ Bethany said. ‘It’s not your fault.’
A couple of the girls had grabbed tissue from the bathroom and were using it to scoop crumbs and dip off the carpet.
‘You know,’ Lauren said, holding her thumb and finger a few millimetres apart, ‘I was that close to giving him a slap.’
*
‘Good morning, James,’ Meryl Spencer yelled cheerily as she leaned over James’ bed.
Meryl was a retired Kenyan sprint champion who worked as an athletics coach on CHERUB campus. She was also James’ handler, a role that was part form teacher and part guidance counsellor.
‘I’ve got a Post-it on my desk,’ Meryl said. ‘I read a glowing report about you from Miss Takada yesterday afternoon, so I wrote myself a little reminder. The Post-it says: Make point to see James. Congrats on combat course!’
James felt like there was a thousand-ton weight pressing down on his head as Meryl sat on the corner of his bed.
‘But, judging by your demeanour and the smell of booze in this room, I’d say you took the celebrations a little too seriously, wouldn’t you?’
James could hear Meryl’s words, but his face was buried in a pillow and he kept remembering horrible stuff from the night before: falling over in the cinema, the popcorn fight, hitting on Gabrielle and failing miserably. And – worst of all – the 2 a.m. scene in Lauren’s room. She was going to be furious.
‘James, sit up,’ Meryl said stiffly. ‘I’m not prepared to conduct a conversation with the back of your head. You’ve missed first lesson already.’
James turned over, not completely surprised that he’d managed to sleep through his alarm. As he moved, he felt his hand slide through something gooey.
I couldn’t have.
‘Miss, I think I’m sick,’ James gasped, as he sprung up in a state of shock.
‘I’m not surprised, the amount of booze you must have downed last night.’
‘No,’ James said anxiously. ‘Really sick. I think I’ve done something nasty in my bed.’
Meryl scrambled off the bed as James threw back his duvet and braved a look. He caught a waft of vinegar as he realised he was lying in a puddle of salsa.
‘Oh my god,’ James said, scrambling out from under the covers with streaks of chilli and onion goo soaked into his boxers and gliding down his legs.
Meryl couldn’t help smiling. ‘I think someone’s played a trick on you James.’
James knew it must have been a revenge attack from Lauren and Bethany, but he didn’t want to grass them up. Meryl grabbed a large towel out of the bathroom and threw it at him.
‘You’d better wipe that lot off before it goes all over the carpet, and get all the bedding down to the laundry as soon as you’ve showered.’
‘Yeah,’ James said as he rubbed his legs with the towel.
‘Now, about last night. We’re quite lenient about what you kids get up