the caller was Isaac Snow or Isobel Snow. Brother or sister?
“Is this a bad time?” it asked.
“Yeah,” I replied. “It’s a bad motherfucking time. What the fuck do you want, asshole?”
“Only what Miss Throckmorton is holding,” the smiling voice said. “I can assure you she’s been paid well, and I merely desire to conclude my business transaction with her. I dislike loose ends.”
Usually, in situations like these, I have a snarky comeback at the ready, drawn from my all-you-can-eat buffet of gutter wit. This time, all I had was a sudden case of dry mouth. I swallowed and licked my lips.
“A pity,” said the creepy voice, “the same cannot be said for you, Miss Quinn. It almost seems as if you take a perverse pride in leaving messes that others have to clean up. Your former employer in Providence would, I’m sure, testify to that.”
“We’re sort of in a hurry,” I said. “I’m gonna hang up now. Fuck off.” But I didn’t hang up.
“Are we not, all of us, in a hurry, Miss Quinn? Isn’t that a shame, that we rush about like ants, rarely pausing to enjoy the time given to us? Of course, some of us get more time than do others, some lucky, lucky people like yourself. Hardly seems fair, does it?”
“Hardly,” I said. “But I’ve learned not to waste a lot of time worrying over what is and isn’t fair.”
Not witty, but oh so true.
“Touché. You know, I wasn’t certain, at first, that it actually was you, the celebrated Twice-Dead, Twice-Damned, there in Manhattan, watching over poor lost Miss Throckmorton. But that escapade of yours Friday night, my sister heard the news, yes, and that removed any doubt we might have harbored.”
So Isaac.
Chilling or not, the guy was starting to sound like a villain in an old Charlie Chan or Sherlock Holmes movie. Or one of the cheesier James Bond films. If his voice hadn’t been so creepsome, he probably would have had me in stitches. But, you know, lots of the bad folk have that effect on me. The line between scary and hilarious is often no wider than a bug’s dick.
“I was hoping we would have a chance to meet face-to-face,” he said, “but, alas, that’s not the way events are unfolding. My loss, I’m certain.”
Actually, he was beginning to remind me a little of B.
“I’ll give you a dollar to get to the point,” I said.
Ah, there I was, back to my usual mouthy self.
“Miss Throckmorton knows why I’m calling. Will you please pick up, Selwyn?”
He knew her name. Her real name.
I wasn’teven aware there was another phone in the kitchen. But in a second or two Selwyn was, in fact, on the line. I rubbed at my eyes, chasing off a few of the Maglite fireflies, just enough I could see her. She’d set the Maglite on the counter, but still held the bundle.
“There we are,” he said. “Little Lamb, smile.”
“I have it,” she stammered. If he’d unnerved me, he was clearly scaring the bejesus out of her. “I have it. I was going to get in touch tomorrow.”
“You possess fine attributes, Little Lamb, yes, but you cannot number among them being a good liar. We know that you were going to do no such thing.”
“No, I’m . . . I mean, just had to be sure it is still here. The police . . .” She trailed off and glanced towards me. I squinted. She looked as if she was about to puke.
“Would never have seen it,” he said. “You and I both know that. My sister and I, we thought you were dependable. You came so very highly recommended. We made this deal in good faith.”
“Listen,” Selwyn said, trying to keep her voice from trembling. “Just tell me where to meet you, where to make the drop, and we can make this right.”
“How can we do that, Little Lamb, now that you’ve sold off the skull and La Saignement de gorge. We are, yes, rather amazed you still have the Madonna. No, as much as we would have liked to uphold our end of the bargain, you made that impossible.”
“No, if you’ll just—”
“We can no longer trust you. We’ve had to enlist the services of a third party.”
I shut my eyes, trying to clear my head.
“Miss Throckmorton’s going to hang up now,” I said. My words came out like blocks of wood. “Isn’t that right, Selwyn?” She didn’t answer me.
Isaac Snow said, “We do hope, yes, that you’ll understand with