I was going to die—like that.
I was a good person who always took care of everyone else. I did everything right, always lived a life of honesty and integrity, always did the right thing even when no one was looking. But that virtue didn’t change my fate, didn’t protect me from this cruel end. I didn’t even save my sister, didn’t sacrifice my life for someone else, so my death really was a complete waste.
Just as my life had been.
Bethany kept lifting her gaze to look at me, the pain in her eyes showing her thoughts, showing the turmoil she felt at my expense. She knew exactly what I knew. She knew my fate before they even announced it.
She would probably be the last person I ever spoke to. “Thanks for helping me.”
Her eyes fell in a deeper look of sadness.
“Tell Melanie…” There was a catch in my throat, and it was hard to continue, not when my eyes were getting wet with tears, not because of my impending death, but because of how the event would torment her forever. “Tell her not to give up…and I love her.”
She nodded. “I’ll make sure she knows.”
It was such a violent way to die.
I rehearsed it in my head over and over, how it would hurt, the rope against my throat and the knife in my belly. The only comfort I had was knowing how quickly it would end. The sounds stopped within thirty seconds.
I just had to get through those thirty seconds.
And then it would be over.
My body would hang there until they cut me down and added me to the pile of other corpses, and no one would discover my bones for a long time. There would never be a grave. I would never have children to honor my memory until they were gone. My death would be like my life…like it never really mattered.
But if those were the last moments of my life, I would go with my head high, wouldn’t give them the satisfaction of my tears, of my pleas. I wouldn’t make a sound while that knife plunged into my intestines.
They could take my body…but never my mind.
Darkness descended, and then the torches were lit.
The executioner stepped into the clearing, the metal plate over the bottom half of his face. Every single week, he took his time in selecting the victim, but I knew it was all just for show. They just wanted to scare the shit out of everyone before they got to the main attraction.
He started to do the same, walking down every aisle.
There was no doubt that I was the sacrificial lamb this week, and I decided to take the situation into my own hands. I decided to show some power, to be brave, to stand straight and tall instead of being dragged from my seat.
I chose to be fearless.
Silently interrupting him, I rose to my feet.
All the stares initially had been on him, but the women started to look at me. Row by row, they turned my way, no longer paying attention to him…but me.
I stepped out of the bench and moved to the edge of the table, standing tall, not shaking, not giving in to the fear.
Melanie started to sob. “No!”
The girls at her sides covered her mouth and silenced her.
The executioner stopped and stared at me.
I stared back. My body gave me the last thrust of adrenaline I would ever have. It gave me all the courage it could produce, because it knew this was the last time I would ever need it. My body did everything it could to make this easier, to let me die with as much honor as possible.
He remained still as he looked at me, his eyes filled with ferocity, as if my actions really pissed him off.
Good. “I’m the one you want, so cut the shit.”
All the girls turned to look at him, to witness his reaction.
His eyes narrowed at my audacity.
I started to move to the noose on the other end.
Bethany’s hand reached out for mine and gave it a squeeze. Tears burned in her eyes before they fell down her cheeks. “I’ll see you on the other side.”
I squeezed her back before I moved forward, wearing a mask of stoicism, staring at my killer like he should be afraid of me instead of the other way around.
He watched me walk toward the noose, like he’d never seen anything like this as long as he’d been here.
The guards didn’t say anything either.
Then he moved