no? Are you dumb? Did you bump your head in Pasadena so hard you no longer have a shred of common sense?”
I shoot my best friend, Julia, a glare. Her face is just as made up as it always is. That’s Julia in a nutshell. She takes her appearance seriously. I don’t think there’s ever been a time she’s gone out in public without makeup. It isn’t that she needs it; she looks beautiful without it. She’s dressed in her work attire, a red dress that hugs her slender curves, her platinum blond bob swaying with her frustrated motions as I recount the events of the past few days. She’s beautiful inside and out, with striking features that stop men in their tracks wherever we go.
Julia works here at Rita’s Diner, one of our constant hangouts when we were younger. We’ve been meaning to catch up, but with her busy schedule, it’s been nearly impossible, so she suggested I come to her—which works in my favor since I’m jobless. If I’m going to stay here for an unknown amount of time, I need to get a job. And I figure, since my best friend works here, this might be the best place to try. I tried putting my business degree to good use, but here in a small town like this? That means nothing at all.
“Jules, I’m not that girl anymore. That crush was six years ago. I moved on. I’m not that stupid little kid anymore, hoping the hottest guy in town will take notice of her.”
“Babe. That was no crush. You were in deep with Endymion. That doesn’t just go away because you’ve been gone six years. That much I know.”
Why does everyone keep saying that?
I blow out an agitated breath. “It’s not going to work anyway. I have a daughter I’m trying to raise, and I’m supposed to be here for my father, not starting a new relationship with someone.”
“Selene, babe. I get that, I do. But at some point, you gotta live your life for you, too. I mean, hell, when was the last time you had sex?”
“Shhh!” I hiss, darting my gaze around the diner, hoping no one heard that. “It’s been…I don’t know. It’s been a long time.”
Julia narrows her eyes. It’s almost like she can read the answer as if it’s written on my forehead. “How long is a long time, exactly?” I look down at the table, focusing on the Sweet’N Low sugar packet I’m spinning around. Anything to avoid her gaze. “Selene. How long?” she demands, her voice growing impatient.
“It’s been six years,” I mumble under my breath. Julia jerks forward so quickly, it looks like someone pushed her from behind.
“I’m sorry, what the hell did you just say?”
My face is flaming in mortification. God, I hate talking about this. I didn’t really have too many people back in Pasadena I could confide in, and even when I did, I would still call Julia for weekly updates. But my sex life is something that has never been on the table—a topic not up for discussion.
“Six years.”
Julia’s face pales. Quite literally, I watch as the color drains from her face. “Oh, honey. Are you okay? I mean, does it…does it even work anymore?” she whispers, looking truly worried that my vagina is broken after six years of not being in use. I swat at her.
“Stop it! Of course, it still works.” I pause. “I mean, I think it still does. Right?”
“I’m even more confused now than I was before this conversation started. Why the hell are you saying no to Endymion? Endymion Black of all fucking people? His dick is probably huge. Imagine all the incredible sex you guys can have.”
My stomach dips and does a somersault of sorts. Hell, it feels as if acrobatics are happening in my gut.
Oh, I can imagine it all right. I can imagine it just fine. I’ve lived it and done it. It’s what got me pregnant in the first place. It’s also why I haven’t bothered with any other relationships. No one in Pasadena came close to Endymion. Even though I promised myself I was leaving him in the past, that changed when I had Luna. She was my reminder of what I couldn’t have.
It’s not like I purposely set out to remain abstinent all these years. It’s difficult to juggle being a young single mother, trying to finish school and run a business. After I gave birth, I moved in with my mom in