would want to discuss. With Angela it had felt right. But there were certain areas he could not and would not talk about. Soon the discussion would be halted. He regretted that because he knew the sweet intimacy they were sharing would also end. However, going further into his past would only cause massive regret. He lived with his mistakes daily. Having them as a topic of conversation was out of the question.
Hoping to cut it off, his answer was abrupt. “We got married and I became a cop.”
“What was your wife like?”
He closed his eyes and tried to picture Teresa’s heart-shaped face. An ache started in his chest when he realized he couldn’t. He could describe her but he couldn’t see her in his mind. “She was very pretty, had a good sense of humor but was kind of quiet and on the shy side. She was a neonatal nurse. Loved her job.” He shrugged. “We had some good times.”
“You loved her very much.”
“Yes.”
“And then she died.”
Jake loosened his arms but was unable to completely let her go. Being with Angela was a fantasy he never expected to come true. He’d certainly never planned to act on his desires but now that he had, dammed if he wanted to end it, especially on a sour note.
Hoping he could cut off this line of questioning without ruining things, he said, “That’s not a topic I want to talk about.”
She was silent for so long, he wondered if he had hurt her feelings. Should have known Angela wouldn’t back down.
“You feel responsible for her death.”
He dropped his arms from her and rolled away. “Let it go, Angela.”
“It wasn’t your fault.”
Jake went to his feet and pulled his pants on, refusing to answer. And, as usual, Angela persisted. “Her death was tragic but you’re not to blame.”
Whirling around, he glared down at the too beautiful, infinitely desirable, and extremely irritating woman on the bed. “What the hell do you know about it?”
Angela hurt for him. She wanted to call him back to bed and hold him until the pain went away. Even if she made the offer, from the look of fury on his face, he’d refuse the invitation. She debated evading his question or being vague about her knowledge. She couldn’t do that. Though she had only this night learned she was a coward in certain situations, she refused to back away from this confrontation. Not facing the truth never accomplished anything.
“I know everything, Jake. You were a cop, protecting a witness—Suzanna Long. She was due to testify against a very powerful man in Chicago. Unfortunately several people in the police department were on his payroll, including your captain. Your house was bombed and Teresa was critically injured. You were at the hospital with her as she fought for her life. While you were on leave, others took over the case. Your witness was shot and killed on her way to the courthouse. And your wife died three days later without regaining consciousness.”
He stared at her as if she were some kind of foreign being. She hastily explained, “It wasn’t out of curiosity. I’m LCR’s main researcher. I create the files on all LCR employees. That means I—”
“I know what it means. I just—” He shook his head. “Hell, you must think I’m the stupidest person alive. Here I was thinking I had some semblance of privacy and you know every damn thing about me.”
“Because of my job, Jake. For no other reason.”
“Well tell me this, Miss Information Gatherer. Do you also know that Teresa was two months pregnant with our first child? Did you know I beat the hell out of two of the men responsible, almost killing them?”
She felt sick. “No, I didn’t know that.”
His smile bitter, he shrugged into his shirt. “Sometimes the most salacious parts get missed by even the best and nosiest researchers.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Yeah, life’s like that.”
His long strides took him out of the room in seconds and then she heard the adjoining door to his apartment open and then slam shut.
Angela dropped her head back onto her pillow. Running after him to apologize would be useless. Silly of her to feel guilty for having done her job—though it was clear she’d missed a few pertinent details. No, she shouldn’t feel guilty for knowing as much as she did. What she did regret was not telling him sooner. Maybe that would have made all the difference and this night would have ended with them still