way, Judith. I never want to see you unhappy, especially not on my account.”
She sniffed as she raised her head to look at him.
“Is that why you would not tell me? Why you kept it secret?”
He seemed to think about it. “Well, it was not always so,” he eventually answered. “It is something I have always been ashamed of, so I have tried to keep it secret from everyone, apart from my physician and Thomas, that is. When you came into Dunham, it was supposed to remain so. However….”
He paused to inhale deeply. As he exhaled, he continued. “However, as I came to care for you, I decided I had even more reason to hide my illness. I could not bear you finding out.”
Awe washed over Judith as she heard those words.
“You care for me?” she asked, unable to believe her ears.
Stephen nodded. “Yes. Very much. I had thought it would be apparent enough. Do not tell me I succeeded in keeping it hidden?”
A soft chuckle broke free of her lips, and it relieved her of some of the ache in her heart, causing it to flutter.
“I would not say you did. In Aunt Tia’s words, it was as clear as day. I simply did not dare to hope, to believe, lest I was wrong.”
He pulled his arm from her shoulders to cradle her cheeks tenderly in his hands.
Searching her eyes, he asked, “Why? Why did you not let yourself hope?”
She held his gaze even as her heart thumped wildly in her chest. Her stomach trembled, and she dreaded saying the words on the tip of her tongue.
Just then, she heard Aunt Tia’s voice echo in her head.
Love is the most demanding of all. You must have courage, Judith! Have courage!
Chapter 32
Yes, Aunty. I must have courage.
Judith smiled then. It was the brightest smile she had worn in days.
“Because I care about you, too, and I feared that if I let myself believe the feelings were returned, I would end up being hurt. I could not bear the thought.”
It was his turn to be astonished. “You care about me too?”
She nodded without hesitation. “I do. Very much so.”
He cradled her face with both hands then.
“Judith… you… you cannot know what you are saying.”
“I certainly do. You cannot believe I came all the way back here for nothing. It is a whole day’s ride from Berfount, you know.”
He chuckled. It was such a beautiful sound; it warmed her insides.
“You can rest for a few days before you begin the journey again.”
“Journey where? Please do not bother to tell me you think I am ever going to leave you again. Not after all that I have learned.”
“But you must, Judith. Do you not see? I have nothing to offer you.”
“Is that why you sent me away? Because you believe that to be so? Well, let me be the judge of that.”
“I am a sick man, Judith. You are young still. I will not have you become a widow in your youth.”
“Well, I should have to be a wife first for that to happen now, would I not?” she immediately shot back.
Her retort took him aback, leaving him tongue-tied for a moment. She watched his face turn red. Seeing him flush so hard thrilled her no end.
It felt wonderful to have the tables turned for once.
“Why, do not tell me you have considered marrying me already, Your Grace.”
“How could I not?” he returned hotly. “How could I not when you have brought so much joy and light to my life? When you have filled my heart with so much love?”
It was Judith’s turn to be tongue-tied. She had not expected such a confession, not to mention one so passionately done.
“Stephen,” she whispered.
“Yes, Judith. It is true. I have thought of making you my wife. So many times, I could scarcely think of anything else. To be with you, grow old with you, it would be too wonderful a dream come true. Yet, it is a dream I could never let myself have, for I knew it can never happen.”
“Why? Because you are ill?”
“You deserve better than a man with a terrible past and failing health.”
“You seem to forget that I am capable of making my own choices, Stephen. Why do you insist on making this one for me?”
“Because you do not…”
She silenced him with a finger to his lips. “I don’t want to hear it. No more. You have made enough decisions for the both of us. It is time to let me