Caught in the Storm of a Duke's - Abby Ayles Page 0,76
sick man. Last night was proof that the fits were far from gone. They might stay away for some time, but they would always return.
It was only a matter of time before the day would come when he would not wake again.
Beyond that, it had become clear that Judith would never be satisfied with what he had given her already. She would always want more.
But he could not give her any more. He could not tell her of that night. He certainly could not condemn her to loving a man who would always mourn the family he lost. A man who would soon join that family in the afterlife.
“We have fooled each other enough. I am as good as a dead man, and she still has her entire life ahead of her. I must let her go now, so she can truly be happy.”
“And if that is not what she wants?”
“It matters not. I no longer want her in my home. She has no choice but to leave. Begin arrangements. Inform her of my decision and have a carriage ready to take her and Miss Mitchell to Yorkland tomorrow. They have the day to prepare.”
As he finished, Thomas heaved a deep sigh.
“Pity,” he said. “I had grown quite fond of the ladies. They’re so sweet and dear. They will surely be missed by all of Dunham.”
Stephen’s resolve weakened, his heart aching.
I will miss her the most.
Despite his thoughts, he insisted, “Dunham will do very well without her. Do as I say.”
Thomas bowed. “As you wish, Your Grace.”
Nothing more was said between them.
The butler soon quitted the chamber, and, once again, Stephen was all alone.
***
When Stephen finally decided to leave his chambers, he went to his study. Sadly, he could barely get anything done.
He was troubled, restless.
Thoughts of Judith consumed him, and it proved almost impossible to stay away from her.
Thomas had done as he had said. A carriage had been hired for the journey, and the ladies had begun to prepare for their departure.
He had wanted to ask how they had received the news, but he had stopped himself, not wanting to seem pitiful.
Instead, he had let his mind wander, wondering if she had been sad or angry. If she had pretended to be strong, only to break down in tears when no one was watching.
He wondered if she would come to detest him, or if she would care for him still. If she would ever forgive him for turning her away so harshly. If she would pardon him for the way he had spoken to her the day before.
Whenever he remembered how angry he had been, and the words he had said to her, he wished he could turn back time and do things differently.
He had been handling the matter so well. How had things suddenly gone badly?
He remained in his study, unable to stop thinking about her. Eventually, he decided to end the mad torture.
He found her in her chamber, packing. Amy was with her.
It was just as well, he told himself. If he had to speak with her alone, he feared he might not be able to hold on to his resolve.
“Your Grace,” Judith greeted as he entered, sinking into a curtsy. Amy did the same.
He nodded at them both. “My lady, Miss Mitchel. I see that you are getting ready to leave.”
“Yes,” Judith answered. “We thought it would be wise to pack our valises this evening if we hope to leave at first light tomorrow. The journey to Yorkland is a two-day ride from here, I hear.”
“Yes. I have examined the carriage, myself. It is new and strong. The horses, too. The coachman is well traveled and familiar with the routes. He knows the best inns to rest at and the paths to take. I have also instructed him to be very careful.”
“Thank, Your Grace. You need not have troubled yourself so on our account. You have been most kind.”
He swallowed, still refusing to look her in the eye.
“It is the least I could do to ease my conscience,” he said.
“I see,” she responded.
Clearing his throat, he looked around the room, anywhere but at her.
“I pray the weather remains good, and I bid you safe travels.”
He turned to leave then but she stopped him.
“Your Grace!”
His heart stirred as he turned around, finally holding her gaze.
“It appears I might not see you before I leave tomorrow. In that case, there are some things I wish to say.” She paused, swallowing hard. “Amy and I might not have