I immediately contacted my old friend, boss, and mentor, Lisa. Her office was still in the same place, and she’d cried with relief on hearing my voice. The first night, I found myself a guest in her apartment, catching up on each other’s lives. Lisa turned out to be a godsend and every inch a good friend. First, she offered to hire me as her assistant so I could slowly get back into design. I readily agreed. Although she’d obviously created the job as a favor, the first day back in the office, I took one look at her desk, her books, and the phone ringing off the hook, and I had little doubt she needed me.
She also gave me a place to live. She’d been seeing the same man for the last two years and stayed over at his place more often than not, and so she insisted I move into her apartment. We agreed on a fair rent, which she insisted helped her out since she’d basically moved in with Tom but hadn’t wanted to give up her own place unless and until things were more permanent.
I was grateful, not thrilled about feeling like I was taking, but I wasn’t stupid enough to begrudge the opportunity. I also knew Lisa. She didn’t lie, and she didn’t go easy. She was a tough boss, and I knew I’d work hard—and I did. I also went along on all her design appointments. She asked my advice, often used my vision, and before long, I grew comfortable asserting my opinions on color, fabric choice, and furniture placement. My school knowledge came back to me, and so did the two years of on-the-job training at Lisa’s hand.
One morning not long after I’d left, a courier delivered an envelope for me at work. I signed, and the other man left. Inside, I discovered a check for the amount I’d had when I’d moved in with Lance, plus two years’ worth of interest. To say I was stunned was an understatement, and I felt sure Gabe had something to do with the return of my funds. Which meant Lance wouldn’t be pleased with him—or me. Despite me looking over my shoulder for a while after, Lance never surfaced in any way. And neither had Gabe. Even if he’d cared enough to push Lance into returning the money, he obviously wasn’t interested enough to see me himself.
The first day, heck, even weeks after I’d left, I’d waited for him to come after me. A part of me had even hoped he would, not that I knew how I’d find the strength to resist him if he did. I didn’t have to worry. He’d let me go much easier than I’d anticipated. In fact, he’d let me go completely. Either he’d respected my decision or I’d hurt or angered him to the point that he no longer cared. That was the thought that tortured me, the possibility that I’d caused Gabe pain in order to find my sense of self. I think some part of me believed he’d be persistent even as he tried to understand. I didn’t think he’d let contact go. Then again, I’d left him. What else would a man with a healthy ego do?
There were times I wondered if he’d thought I was testing him by leaving and was angry that I’d played that kind of game with him. The truth was, I didn’t know how to play games, not when it came to my heart. The fact remained, his silence reigned, as blatant and full of meaning as my parents’, I thought, and a knife-like pain hit my heart.
Three months later, I still missed Gabe, all the while asking myself how I could miss a man I’d barely gotten to know. Yet he’d reached inside me with the things I craved most—understanding and true passion.
If I was honest with myself, and during this time of self-discovery, I’d forced myself to be nothing but, I also missed the sexual domination he’d exerted over me. Where Lance’s control had been damaging and ego crushing, Gabe’s had built me up in subtle but important ways. Just a few days with him and I’d felt stronger. Strong enough to leave the easy life he’d offered me and go out on my own just to prove to myself that I could.
This morning, as I settled into my desk and began checking messages, the familiar sound of Lisa coming through the doors had me looking up. She floated into the office. There was no other word to describe her arrival. Makeup perfect, blonde hair in symmetrical waves, she immediately came over to my desk, a huge smile on her face.
“Nice evening?” I asked, knowing Tom had told her to dress up because he was taking her somewhere special.
“Fabulous!” She flashed her hand at me, and I couldn’t help but notice the big, sparkly engagement ring on her finger.
“Oh my God!” I squealed as only a friend could, jumped up, and hugged her tightly. “Congratulations!” I grabbed her hand for a better look. “Gorgeous.”
“I know!”
I laughed, truly happy for her. Lisa had just turned forty, and she’d been beginning to think Tom would never propose, but she loved him too much to leave or issue an ultimatum. Clearly her persistence had paid off.
Instead of heading to her office and returning calls immediately as she usually did, Lisa perched herself on the corner of my desk. Never the kind of boss to define the workplace by hierarchy, she also didn’t care that I was a good decade younger than her.
We’d clicked, therefore we were friends.
I settled back into my chair. “I’m thrilled for you,” I told her.
“Thank you.” She quietly assessed me with her vivid green eyes. “I’m glad you came back so I could share this with you. Not to mention the fact that you keep me organized.”
I smiled at her. “I’m glad too.” I’d missed the work, and I’d missed her friendship.
She leaned in close. “You know, I was fooled by Lance too.”
I whipped my head up. She hadn’t brought up Lance since the first night of my return, respecting that boundary, if not many others. I think she realized I needed time to heal, and she’d given me that. Apparently, with her engagement and happiness assured, it was time to focus on me.
My stomach churned, but I figured it was better to have the conversation and be done with it than to avoid it and let her push me until I revealed all.
“Lance really fooled you too?” I asked, surprised that she hadn’t seen beyond the smooth exterior to the slime beneath either.
She nodded. “I would have tried harder to talk you out of quitting it—make that abandoning me here—but you were so happy. You loved him, and you wanted security. I knew you well enough to know that, and Lance seemed the perfect man to provide it.”
At least I knew we’d both seen the same thing in Lance—in the beginning.
“I didn’t like that you gave up your independence and career to be with him, but I respected that not all women wanted the same things from life. Although I knew I’d miss your talent.”
I smiled. “I really did want to be happy with him. I wanted to make the home I never had but…” I smacked the side of my head and forced a smile.
“I admire you knowing what you wanted at such a young age. Nothing wrong with that. We aren’t all cut out for career only.” She glanced down at her ring as she spoke, making me think she’d done some reevaluating too.
“I should have realized when I called and couldn’t reach you, and then when you didn’t call me back—”
I held up one hand. “What?” To my knowledge, she had stopped calling me, cold turkey.