Dare to Surrender(13)

My eyes opened wide. It never dawned on me that Gabe would be concerned. It should have, but I was too thrown by … well, everything. I bit down on my lip. “Please call up and tell him I’m on my way?”

He smiled, treating me to a kindly look that made me think he was a father or a grandfather. Someone who also cared about people. Someone unlike my own parents. And on that unpleasant thought, I headed for the elevator, holding my breath, suddenly nervous.

The elevator doors opened, and I was stunned to find him waiting in the darkened, moody hallway, arm braced on the doorframe. He wore dark jeans and a long-sleeved, collared shirt, white, unbuttoned enough to tempt yet still give him that in-control, dangerously sexy air. His dark brown hair was tousled, as if he’d run his fingers through it in frustration more than a few times.

His eyes lit on me, and in that instant, longing caught in my throat, along with a healthy dose of wariness. Because no matter what I felt when I laid eyes on him, this morning’s hard truths hadn’t changed. And though I’d returned, I needed to understand what was going on between us before I could stay.

I stepped out and paused in front of him.

“You’re okay.” The words came out a mix of anger and relief.

I swallowed hard. “Yes.”

“And how should I have known? You’ve been gone since early this morning.” He stepped forward then stopped himself, visibly holding himself back from me.

I winced. “I suppose I should have left you a note, but—”

“Yes, you should have.”

I looked down, chastened, hating it and yet … oddly affected by his mix of emotions. Because that meant he still cared? Desired me?

Was that what I wanted?

I thrust my fingers into my tangled hair. “I’m sorry if you thought—”

“You have no idea what I was thinking.” He gestured inside his apartment with a flick of his wrist.

Even as a part of me rebelled at his command, I strode past him, head high, acknowledging the part of me that was pleased he’d been concerned. When was the last time anyone had thought about my welfare?

He slammed the door shut behind him before turning back to face me. “Do you want to know what went through my mind?”

I swallowed hard. “Of course.”

“Let’s see. First, I thought Daltry had come by. I wondered if you’d changed your mind and left with him,” Gabe bit out.

Oh, Gabe. “I wouldn’t just pick up and leave after you’ve been so kind.”

“I thought we’d gone over this. I’m not kind,” he said in a tone meant to convince me.

He failed.

“Well, to me you are.” And suddenly it didn’t matter what he’d done to Naomi; I was different. He treated me better. Or was I deluding myself as I’d done with Lance? My stomach tumbled at the thought. “Do you want to know where I’ve been?” I asked.

“Go on.”

I breathed out, elaborating on my day. “First I went to the public library so I could look through job listings and newspapers. I made lists and planned calls for Monday. Then I spent the day in the park. Reading. And thinking.”

“By any chance, did that thinking include whether or not you should stay with me?”

I nodded.

He reached out and nabbed my hand, linking his big fingers through mine, tightening incrementally. His closeness eased some of the lingering tension, and my shoulders lowered as I allowed myself to relax beneath his touch. With a tug, he pulled me closer, invading my personal space, nuzzling his chin in my hair.

I closed my eyes and sighed, and when I breathed in, the expensive cologne I’d come to associate with him wrapped around me and lit me up from the inside out, like a firecracker with an ever-shortening fuse. I squeezed my thighs together to alleviate the ache that both excited and unnerved me at the same time.

“Don’t leave.” He turned me to face him.

My heart sped up in my chest. I should want to run, not wrap myself around him and never let go.