I poured coffee from a pot Gabe had left for me, from a coffee maker built into the backsplash in the kitchen, and turned on the TV. The morning news droned around me as I toasted a bagel, slathered it with cream cheese, and settled in to eat. And to think.
At the moment, I was … for lack of a better word, stuck. At least with my money and clothes arriving, thanks to Gabe’s demand, I’d feel more like myself, more in control of myself and my life. Then I could set about pondering what I wanted to do with my life.
The last time I’d been on my own and at a crossroads, I’d set out for New York City, to Parsons School of Design on a scholarship. It had led to an internship and, ultimately, a job after graduation at Lisa Stern Designs, a one-woman design firm that catered to various types of clientele, from home renovations to the occasional country club overhaul. I’d been hungry to learn, to work, but I’d also yearned for love and a relationship where I contributed and was a valued, equal partner.
That had been my one weakness, one Lance had homed in on. Before I knew it, I’d swapped a smart set of dreams for less practical ones he’d destroyed. And though I should be over that need, the yearning for family and the need to belong still lived inside me. However, I needed to be intelligent, and this time, I would be.
I sipped my coffee and sighed in pleasure at the perfect-tasting brew just as Gabe’s home phone rang. One ring, and an answering machine picked up. Next thing I heard was an older woman’s voice over the phone line.
“Good morning, Mr. Dare, this is Amelia. I won’t be able to make it in to clean today, after all. I have a family emergency, but in all likelihood, I can get there tomorrow. I hope this doesn’t cause you too much of an inconvenience. I’ll have the spare room taken care of first thing in the morning. Only call me back if the timing doesn’t work for you.”
Cleaning. I wrinkled my nose. The apartment itself was pristine, as if it had been professionally sanitized just yesterday, so I couldn’t imagine Gabe being upset his cleaning woman had cancelled. Then again, if he needed that spare room taken care of today, that was something I could do. Making myself useful around here would feel good, since I was already worried about taking advantage.
A quick search in the cabinets and pantry turned up cleaning supplies, but before I lugged everything into the spare room, the door to which had been closed yesterday, I figured I’d peek and see just what it needed.
I walked down the hallway, turned the knob, and let myself in. The bed was unmade, the sheets rumpled, pillows dented and haphazardly strewn around. Who had slept in here? I stepped farther into the room, noting the furnishing was starker than Lucy’s room, less warm and welcoming, the only furniture a king-sized four-poster bed, nightstands, and an armoire. No television. No clock or iPod holder. No pictures on the walls. I eased past the bed, which boasted black satin sheets and comforter, taking it all in.
I inhaled, and Gabe’s cologne surrounded me. I looked into the bathroom, finding it, too, needed cleaning. There were towels on the floor, a toothbrush and open toothpaste on the vanity.
A glance down showed me everything I needed to know and wished I hadn’t seen. Plastic condom wrappers in the garbage can.
My stomach heaved, and my heart stupidly squeezed in my chest. I didn’t know how long I stood there staring, trying to make sense of this man I didn’t know.
He’d made sure to keep me out of this room, and now I knew why. He’d had sex in this room. Recently. The evidence forced me to confront the ugly truth. No sooner had he rescued me from the police station than he’d decided to let Naomi go.
I’d known, of course, but I’d been too thrown by the events of the night to process the cold, methodical reality. He’d had no problem dumping the woman he’d currently been involved with, the decision made in an instant. What did it say about his heart, or lack of one?
Having been on the receiving end of being cheated on, I didn’t like knowing Gabe was essentially capable of the same thing. Or, if not cheating, so easily walking away from a relationship he was in.
I eased out of the room and headed for the other side of the apartment and paused in front of the master bedroom where Gabe slept. Yet he obviously f**ked in the other room clear across the way. That was brutal.
I want to f**k you, kitten. But when I do, it won’t be about gratitude. And it will be on my terms. I shivered, my knees nearly buckling at the memory of his seductive voice, the scent of his masculine, woodsy cologne, and his touch that ripped every one of my defenses to shreds. How easily I’d nearly succumbed.
Thank God that room had brought me back to reality, I thought, as panic set in. I needed air. Needed to breathe and think, clear of this apartment, where everything reminded me of the Gabe he’d shown me so far. How long before I saw the other side? The way I’d finally seen Lance’s other side?
I patted my pockets, making sure I had my money on me before hitting Lucy’s room to grab my flip-flops, slide them onto my feet, and make my way out the door. As it slammed shut behind me, I realized I was now locked out of the apartment. I had no key to get back in until Gabe returned.
But did I want to go back? To the Gabe who I’d just learned was capable of cutting off his feelings so easily? Because for all that I told myself I didn’t want another relationship, I knew better than to think I could stay here and eventually not surrender to Gabriel Dare.
Chapter Five
Isabelle: Lost in Time
I spent the day at the public library. Between the Internet and access to the New York Times, I began a job search. Although it had been awhile since I’d been employed, I did have a degree from Parsons and a previous employer who’d appreciated my work.
Although I’d definitely call Lisa, my old boss, on Monday, for now, the best I could do was make a list of impressive interior designers. I culled names I’d seen in magazines or had met through people in Lance’s crowd, moving on to magazines and listings there. Finally, there was nothing more I could do until the workweek began.
I bought hotdogs from a street vendor for lunch, picked up a paperback at a nearby bookstore, and settled under a tree to read. Yeah, I know I was supposed to take some time and think, but I didn’t like the way my thoughts were leading me, the yearning to go back to Gabe. How could I be so drawn to a man I didn’t know? And why, oh why did I want to learn more? Getting lost in a book made more sense than racking my brain for answers I just didn’t have.
By four p.m., my stomach was grumbling, I was tired and cranky, and after a day with a book, I’d come to the realization that there was no shame in not having figured out my life’s plan after a mere twenty-four hours. It’s not like I knew ahead of time I would be leaving my home for the unknown. At least now I was in a better position than if I’d woken up at a cheap motel with even less money in my pocket. And I decided I was through running away from my problems. Which meant I’d better head back and deal with the man who was causing the hodgepodge of feelings swirling in my gut.
I walked back to the sprawling apartment building and stopped by the doorman, who was not the same man who’d been on duty last night.
“Can I help you?” he asked.
“Is Mr. Dare in?”
“You must be Ms. Masters. He’s been calling down every few minutes asking if you’d returned yet.”