The Caregiver - By Shelley Shepard Gray Page 0,52

course not—”

“Then, you understand why I’m looking at this Hostetler property. I’m just thinking ahead. And I do have my money, you know.”

Calvin didn’t even like the reminder. Five years ago when their father passed away, they’d been shocked to learn that their father had left them each some funds, in addition to leaving their mother with enough money to live independently for the rest of her life.

Calvin had been too numb with grief to do much but follow the banker’s advice and open up a savings account where the funds would be safe and accrue some interest until the time came that he’d need it.

But obviously Loyal had been thinking about his future more in terms of what he wanted instead of what he didn’t have.

For the last few years, Calvin had grown and lived his life, but his heart and mind had been firmly planted on what he’d lost.

He’d mourned his father’s death and struggled to keep his family’s routine the same. He’d struggled to fill the void his father left, doing his best to be more than just an older brother to Loyal and Graham. And, of course, he’d done his best to be a father figure for Katie.

However, though many things were the same as they’d ever been, they weren’t really the same. Not at all.

And, he realized with dismay, he’d done the same thing with Gwen. He’d not been sure about the two of them. But instead of telling her how he felt, he’d turned introspective. Pensive.

Which she had seen as a rejection.

Even when Gwen had moved on to Will, he had still clung to her letter, memorizing each word, dwelling on things that could not be changed.

“I . . . I am glad for you, Loyal,” he finally said, even holding out his hand to prove it. “If you win the Hostetler land in auction, it will be a wonderful-gut thing for you, and for our family.”

Relief filled his brother’s eyes. “It makes me verra happy to hear you say that, Calvin. I didn’t want to do this behind your back.”

“I will always believe in you. Don’t ever feel like you can’t speak to me about anything.”

“Calvin?”

“Yes?”

“I feel the same way about you, you know. I’m always here if you need to talk. Brothers are more than strong arms and backs, ain’t so? We can also help each other . . .” And with that, his brother left, leaving Calvin to ponder his brother’s words . . . and realize they were true.

After setting the berries in the sink, Calvin turned the faucet on cold and splashed a handful of water over his flushed cheeks.

Chapter 19

Paul’s neck hung limply to one side. After touching his skin, Lucy backed up. As her thick-soled boots scuffed the floor, dust flew into her face. Her eyes teared up.

Next to her, Star whined his displeasure.

After an eternity passed, Lucy reached out and pet the dog’s ears. “I know,” she murmured. “This . . . this is a scary thing. Ain’t so?”

In a daze, Lucy slowly turned. Walked to their horse’s stall. With mechanical movements, she brought Blaze to the buggy and hitched him up.

Then, with Paul still staring up at her blankly, she turned and called for Star. One leap brought Star onto the leather seat, his tongue hanging out in anticipation. “Gut hund,” she murmured.

Paul never let the dog ride in the buggy. Not ever.

As she motioned Blaze forward, Lucy realized things had already changed. Paul couldn’t tell her “No” anymore.

It was a relatively short distance to the bishop’s home. There, she would tell him about the accident, and rely on him to tell her what to do.

The street was empty. Blaze’s clip-clopping echoed through the still evening air.

When she was halfway to the bishop’s home, the tears began to fall. One by one, they splashed against her cheeks, fell onto her lap. Next to her, Star whined and cuddled closer.

The dog’s comfort spurred her crying. Lucy’s shoulders jerked, shook.

And when she appeared at Bishop Lund’s door, and told him about Paul, his wife had enfolded her into a gentle hug.

“Ach, Lucy. I am so sorry. It is a terrible thing, this.”

That’s when Lucy knew she’d never tell a soul that her tears were ones of relief. No one needed to know that. Not ever.

Gasping for air, her eyes opened wide.

Calvin now knew, too.

As she sat in bed and welcomed the morning sun, Lucy fought back the fears that seemed to constantly plague her. And remembered how