sounded like a cross between a bark and a bellow. “Holster your weapon, Deputy.” He never should have listened to his mother and hired family.
“But…” Gary reluctantly turned his gaze Drew’s way. “What about the woman inside?”
“Gary.” Drew placed a hand on his cousin’s slender shoulder. “Eileen rescues animals. She’s not the kind of woman to lock up humans. Shooting a constituent you’re supposed to protect will get you fired.” And possibly put in jail.
“Oh, man.” Gary wiped sweat from his brow. “Eileen, you better not have robbed a bank or something.”
“She didn’t,” Drew reassured him, except Gary wasn’t reassured or backing off. “Gary, do you really want me to tell your mother you drew a bead on your cousin?”
“You wouldn’t.” Gary swallowed and then nodded. “You would.” He lowered his weapon. “Okay, I’ll be your backup.”
Drew shook his head. “Busy day in town. Emily’s off, and there’s no working stoplight at the mortuary. Go direct traffic coming out of Scotty Eastlake’s viewing. It should be ending now, but commuters from Greeley will be hitting town at the same time.” Sunshine didn’t need another traffic tragedy.
Gary’s face puckered. “You’re demoting me?”
“No.” Drew sighed. “I’m allocating resources where they’re needed.” He ignored Gary’s grumbling and waited until his cousin drove off before climbing the steps to Eileen’s door. “I’m not Gary. Tell me what’s going on.”
“You’re not coming inside.” Eileen held her ground, chin jutting.
Another crash. Another cry of anguish, too high-pitched to be her last boyfriend, Tyrell the car thief.
Drew indulged in a sigh and a wistful thought about quiet, trouble-free Wendy. “Whatever’s in there should not be in there.”
“I can handle it,” Eileen insisted.
There was a loud bang. The house shuddered, along with Eileen.
Drew took advantage of her shock to push past her. As soon as he opened the door, something the size of a minibike and as white as snow crashed into his legs, knocking him against the doorframe. He sucked in air and breathed in barnyard.
Squealing like the cruiser’s siren, a large pig lurched sideways, pinning Drew’s legs to the wall. The swine wore a pink rhinestone-studded collar that was large enough to fit two Saint Bernards.
“Rosie!” Eileen lunged for the beast.
“Stay back!” Feeling his feet go numb, Drew blocked Eileen’s entry with one arm.
Rosie found her footing on top of Drew’s boot and charged away, banging into upended furniture and puffing like a runaway steam engine.
“Eileen…” Drew chased the perp. “When I catch that pig, I’m taking it to the Bodine Meat Company.”
“You can’t eat Rosie,” Eileen whined and followed him inside, closing the door behind her.
“I like bacon.” And he hated chaos, especially spring-thaw madness that upset his sister.
Rosie banked into the kitchen, stumbling over one of two upended kitchen chairs. Squealing, she circled back to the living room, veering toward Drew.
He jumped onto the sofa, hauling Eileen with him. “Why is this pig hell-bent on knocking us over?”
“She’s overweight. The fat in her cheeks means she can’t open her eyes.” Eileen was the kind of athlete to sit in right field picking dandelions. She lost her balance on the cushion and stumbled against the wall. “It helps to cover her in a jacket or a blanket.”
He was supposed to swaddle three hundred pounds of panic? “I need something to throw over her. Give me that.” Drew held out his hand, keeping an eye on the pig, who was completing a second lap, crashing into the stove.
“No.” Eileen snatched up the gold-colored afghan and held it to her chest. “Grandma Lucille made this for me.”
“I’ll have to tase her.” Drew reached for his Taser.
Eileen swatted his hand away. “You’ll do no such thing.”
He recognized that voice. His sister had made her decision. If he didn’t abide by it, she’d do something foolish. Something worse than bringing a blind, high-strung pig into her home. Rosie would need to be calmed down in a humanitarian way without damage to Grandma Lucille’s afghan. “Tell me you have no emotional attachment to the tablecloth over there.”
He didn’t wait for her answer. He made a run for it because the pig was playing bumper cars with the couch. At least Rosie was consistent. She kept running her circuit. Drew was able to grab the tablecloth and cover her with it as she ran out of the kitchen. The tablecloth hooked on her snout and trailed behind her like a rose-colored cape.
“Eileen, she’s not stopping.”
“Um…” Eileen’s cheeks flamed. “You have to give her a hug too.”
“A hug?” Drew stood in the