gonna do?” Matt asked. “I mean, just thinking practically – for money or whatever. And did you get a lawyer?”
“No,” I said. “I mean, not yet. I should. As far as money goes, I have enough for a while. That should be fine.” It was sort of true, but not as much as I was trying to let on.
“Jesus,” he said. “This is... I hate to be blunt, but you don’t seem all that upset about it.”
Hearing him say that was like having an ocean wave slide over me. It was suffocating, but warm and hauntingly comfortable. “I guess,” I began and then bit my lip. “I guess I’m really not. Things haven’t been all that great for a while.”
After a few minutes spent sitting in silence, Karen spoke up. “Well, you know what? You deserve better than someone who’d do that to you. You should go get that bartender to take you home.”
She smiled, and then started laughing.
This is what I missed. Karen’s irreverent sense of humor, Matt’s serious demeanor tinged with just a dash of sardonic wit.
“Maybe I should,” I said. “But I was thinking about going on a road trip. You know, just kind of drive around and see what I can see?”
The two of them looked at one another. “You might want to think about that for a while,” Matt said. “You don’t want to do something you’ll regret later.”
Karen shrugged. “I dunno. I’ve never regretted anything I’ve done as much as I’ve regretted things I wanted to do, but didn’t. You don’t have anything holding you down, you know? Don’t have to worry about kids or a job or anything. When the hell are you gonna have a chance like this again?”
Just listening to the back and forth had at once steeled my reserve, but also cracked my wall just a hair. Before I knew it, I had been chewing on my lip for so long that a shock of pain went through me. “I’m scared,” I said. A tear ran down my face, though again I didn’t notice it until the warm droplet hit my neck. “I don’t... I’ve never been alone, not really.”
The two of them exchanged another glance. “I’ve got some vacation time coming,” Karen said. “You want some company for a few days?”
“I... I couldn’t ask you to do that,” I said. “Waste your vacation looking after me? I couldn’t—”
“No,” Matt cut in. “It’s a good idea. A perfect idea. We’re best friends, right?”
I nodded.
“Well, what the hell do you think friends are for? Whenever I leave my old battle axe for a hot, nubile eighteen-year-old freshman, you can repay the favor.”
Karen slugged him good right in the shoulder. He laughed at first, and then a second later, winced when she did it again. She was smiling too, but was hitting him hard enough that I knew it hurt.
“You wouldn’t know what to do with an eighteen year old,” she said, still grinning.
For the first time in a lot longer than I care to admit, I was smiling too. That warm sensation of comfort, of security, that you only get when you’re with people who really love you? That exact feeling flooded through me. “I can’t possibly thank you enough,” I said, as more tears ran down my cheeks. Karen reached over the table and grabbed my shoulders.
“You don’t have to,” she said with absolute seriousness. “I know you’d do exactly the same thing for me. We are best friends, and this is what we do.”
I swallowed hard enough to hear my own throat clicking. Then I started to reply, but I couldn’t find my voice. Instead, I just nodded, sniffing back another round of tears.
“Let’s get the hell out of here,” Matt said, swigging back the last of his beer. “You gonna finish that?” he asked as he reached for mine. I couldn’t do anything but smile, and laugh just a little.
“Go right ahead,” I managed to say, even though he already had the glass tipped back when I did.
The night outside the bar was cool enough that it gave me just the slightest chill when we stepped through the door and waited for a cab. “I really appreciate this,” I said to Karen as Matt was wandering around waving his arms at cars to get us a ride.
“Like I said,” she replied, “don’t worry about it. Truth is, I’d rather use my vacation time hanging out with you – who, by the way, I haven’t seen anywhere near enough