any missed calls or texts? Any new notifications from Words & Letters?” I tried not to look too excited for a chance at a brief distraction.
“Um…” She pulled my phone out of her pocket and tapped the screen. “A few readers asked when your next book was coming. Your mother texted and asked why you haven’t called her back yet, and your dad sent you a picture text of him at the golf course with the caption, ‘I finally beat Dane at golf today! All these years later. Hope you’re well.” She tilted her head to the side. “In this picture, this Dane guy looks pretty sexy. I mean, I’m not one for older men, but damn…He’s more than worthy of an exception.”
“Any other texts?”
“No, really.” She was still staring at the screen, biting her bottom lip. “He’s hot as hell. You should give me his phone number.”
“What?” I refused to take her seriously. “Tell my dad that I said, Congrats, and then delete the picture since I’m running low on storage space.”
“You don’t want to see this guy at all?”
“I know who he is, Daniella. I’ll pass.” I shook my head. I hadn’t seen my dad’s friend Dane in years, but I didn’t need to see a picture of him to know that he was attractive.
Whenever I flew to see my Dad for his custody weekends, Dane was always waiting in baggage claim to pick me up on his behalf. He always escorted me to one of his luxury sports cars as we left the airport, and every woman who laid eyes on him did a complete double take.
It didn’t help that his pickup attire was usually a thin white T-shirt that revealed all of his muscles, or that he insisted on wearing this spicy, intoxicating cologne that seemed to draw the onlookers even closer. He also had a perfect, pearly white smile that he flashed to anyone who glanced in his direction.
Completely oblivious to whatever charm he had on people, I hardly ever said more than, “Hello, Dane,” and “Thanks for picking me up.”
I was too preoccupied with my endless string of teenage crushes to ever pay that much attention to him. The main thing I remembered was my Dad always joking, “Dane is a pussy magnet who can have any woman he wants…I can’t believe that I settled for your mother.”
“Is that it, Daniella?” I asked.
“No, there’s one more thing. You also sent a ‘Cut the Shit’ letter to your friend Ryan.”
What? “No, I didn’t.” I narrowed my eyes at her. “I haven’t written him since Monday.”
“That’s because I wrote it,” she said. “You always talk about this guy like he’s one of your best friends, so I was wondering why he’s never offered to meet you in person.”
“We both agreed to keep things online.” I crossed my arms. “What did you say?”
“We’ll discuss it after you finish.” She tapped her watch and smiled a bit wider.
“Will I have any desire to kill you whenever I read it?” I asked.
“Not at all.” She shook her head. “I was super nice in the letter, and I didn’t write anything that you wouldn’t say. I mean, I might’ve sexed it up a tad more than you usually do, but—”
“Give me my phone right now.” I jumped up from my chair and chased her around the balcony like a madwoman. I managed to grab the phone from her hands, and she went down laughing, face-first into a bean bag.
Catching my breath as I leaned against the railing, I opened the message.
Letter Topic: Let’s Cut the Shit.
Dear Ryan,
We’ve been sending letters through this app for way too long, and we have yet to meet in person. (Are you hiding something?)
Since I’m currently single after my last disaster of a breakup. I’m looking for someone new to date—someone I can be with in person and not online.
Please describe yourself so that I can know if you’re worth my time. I’m 5’5 with hazel brown eyes. Long, dark brown and curly hair. I’m also fit and pretty tight down there, if you catch my drift. (I can send you my picture if you send me yours, but take my best friend’s word for it: I’m super sexy and quite the catch.)
Lightning round:
Have you ever committed a felony?
Are you planning to ask me for any money down the line?
Do you want to continue just talking to me online?
Tell me these things now.
Bella
OH. MY. GOD…
I looked over at Daniella as she rolled onto the floor