Before I can reconsider the wisdom of my actions, I throw off the comforter and pad into the darkened hallway before arriving at my bedroom. I stumble to a halt when I find the door slightly ajar. I pause, tentatively laying a hand on the wood as my heart riots painfully under my breast. If I push the door open and step inside, everything will change. I’ll be forced to acknowledge that my feelings for Rowan have always been smoldering beneath the surface, waiting for the chance to break free.
Am I ready for that?
The tiny voice at the back of my brain tells me to run before it’s too late. But I can’t do that. This feels much too important to back away from. With trembling fingers, I reach out and push the heavy wood door wider before stepping over the threshold and into the dark space.
A fresh wave of nerves crashes over me, threatening to drag me under. It takes everything I have inside to force out the question. “Are you awake?”
“Yup.” As my eyes adjust to the darkness, I realize his hands are stacked behind his head.
I take a cautious step toward the bed. It’s like there is a magnet drawing me to him. One I can’t escape from.
“Who?” Even though it’s only one word that falls from my lips, he understands the question. And the gravity behind it.
As he straightens to a seated position, the sheet slithers down his bare chest before settling around his waist.
“I think you already know the answer.” There’s a pause. “Don’t you?”
Yes.
When he extends his hand, it never occurs to me not to close the distance. I find myself gravitating toward him before carefully placing my fingers in his. As soon as his hand fastens around mine, he tugs me toward the bed until I’m settled on the mattress next to him.
“In case there was ever an ounce of doubt, it’s always been you, Demi.”
My heart melts. As much as I’ve tried ignoring him, thick tension has always smoldered in the air between us. It’s the reason I was so intent on keeping my distance. I was afraid to open up and let someone in.
Especially a guy like Rowan.
It doesn’t seem possible that one little secret has the power to change everything, but that’s exactly what it’s done.
Rowan draws back the sheet, and without hesitation, I slide beneath it, curling up beside him until my head can rest against his chest.
“I don’t understand how you could wait for something,” I glance at him, “or someone if you weren’t sure it would ever happen.”
Silence descends as he wraps his arm around me and tugs me closer.
“I never set out to wait; it just kind of happened. I’ve always had feelings for you, and even though there’s been plenty of other girls, they never held my interest. It seemed pointless to be with another girl when you were the one I couldn’t stop thinking about.”
Emotion explodes inside me, and I shift, maneuvering until my face can hover over his. “I’m not sure what to say.”
“You don’t have to say anything. As embarrassing as it is to admit I’m still a virgin at twenty-one, it was more important you understand that I’m nothing like Justin.”
Guilt slices through me like a burning arrow. “I don’t think that.” How did I get it so wrong? Why didn’t I see through to the truth?
He raises his brows. “Yeah, you did.”
“You’re right, I did. There have always been so many rumors floating around. How could I not believe them?”
“They never came from me.”
That’s the ironic part. It’s the girls who spread the lies far and wide. As if there was prestige to be had if you’d slept with Rowan. An exclusive club that drives up popularity.
When I was a freshman and even a sophomore, my older teammates would brag about hooking up with him. My chest would tighten as I was forced to listen to a blow-by-blow of the encounter. It made me sick to my stomach to think about him messing around with other girls. Instead of admitting I liked him, I convinced myself that I was disgusted by his sexual antics. That he was nothing more than a manwhore coasting through college on his athletic prowess and good looks. Every time he tried to get close, I pushed him away.
Guys get a bad rap for bragging about sexual encounters, but