and glances at it before the lightheartedness she’d managed to find drains away. “All right, I’ve got to go meet up with WU’s very own manwhore.”
“See you later,” I call after her as she grabs her bag and heads to the door. “Try not to kill him.”
“I’m not making any promises!” she shouts before disappearing into the hallway. Less than a minute later, there’s a knock.
I jump from the couch and pad into the tiny entryway before opening the door. “Back already? What did you—”
My voice dies a quick death when I realize it’s not my roommate. Instead, I find Rowan standing on the other side of the threshold. The sight of him has me hugging the door frame a little closer to my body.
“Hi.” He shoves his hands into the pockets of his khakis. There’s a ball cap pulled low over his eyes, and even though there’s a definite chill to the air, he’s wearing a black T-shirt that hugs his biceps.
In other words, he looks amazing. The magnetic attraction that always hums beneath the surface when we’re together explodes to life with a vengeance. It’s so tempting to reach out and pull him to me. Instead of giving in to the urge, I squeeze the door a little harder.
“Hey.” My heart slams painfully against my ribcage. I’ve seen him in class and caught glimpses of him around campus, but we haven’t been this close in a while. When he remains silent, I clear my throat and attempt to turn off the tangle of emotions slyly wrapping their way around me. “What are you doing here?”
“I was hoping we could talk.”
An image of Annica hanging all over him flashes through my head. A pit of nausea blooms at the bottom of my belly, and I force myself to straighten my shoulders. “After more than a week of silence, I don’t think we have anything to discuss.”
Rowan draws his lower lip into his mouth before chewing on it. A mixture of sorrow and regret fills his expression, and it’s almost enough to break my heart.
What the hell is wrong with me?
I want to smack myself for even thinking along those lines. I’m not the one who hurt or betrayed him. It was the other way around.
“I need to explain something to you and then, if you don’t want to speak with me again, I’ll respect that.” When I remain silent, unsure what to do, his voice turns pleading. “Give me five minutes, and then I’ll leave. You’ll never hear from me again. I promise.”
If I were smart, I would slam the door in his face. There is nothing he can say or do to change the way I feel about him. He’s the first guy I took a chance on and opened myself up to. I was prepared to lay it all on the line for him. Thank God, I didn’t get a chance to do that. It would have only made me feel more pathetic than I already do.
Whoever said—it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all was seriously mistaken. The whole loving-and-losing thing sucks major ass. And quite honestly, I don’t see it getting better anytime soon.
“Please, Demi?”
A huff of frustration leaves my lips. I wish I were strong enough to tell him to go to hell. Since I’m not, I begrudgingly move away from the door and wave him in. There’s a tiny part of me that’s curious about what he has to say.
“Thanks,” he murmurs, slipping past me and into the living room where he drops onto the chair. Needing as much distance as possible, I gravitate to the far end of the couch. Regret flickers over his expression as he watches me. It’s like he realizes what tactics I’m trying to employ to keep him at a safe distance. His elbows settle on spread thighs as he clasps his hands together in front of him.
An oppressive silence blankets us, and I shift restlessly beneath the heavy weight of his stare. This is more painful than I expected. Only now do I realize that allowing him inside was a mistake. I’ve changed my mind. No longer do I care what he has to say. His rationale of the situation won’t make a difference.
Rowan clears his throat and his gaze falters, falling to his fingers. I don’t realize how tightly clasped they are until the knuckles turn bone white. “I want you to know that nothing happened with Annica. That night