Life is quite hard enough for most of us. Faith is all that enables us to get through with some dignity and strength. It makes healing and forgiveness possible, and hope when we can see no end to difficulty or grief. To rob people of it is a fearful thing to do, and when the victim is someone you love, how much more must you feel it.”
“Thank you.” She touched his hand lightly, then straightening her shoulders, she turned and walked away towards the baize door and the butler’s quarters. Domestic necessities did not stop because of mourning, or fear, or policemen investigating the tragedies of your life.
Dominic went upstairs to see Ramsay. There must be practical duties with which he could help. Also perhaps there was some way in which he could offer, if not comfort, at least friendship. One thing at least, he could not run away. Ramsay must know he would not be deserted either from suspicion or cowardice.
He put his hand into his pocket for his handkerchief, but it was not there. He must have dropped it—an annoying circumstance because it was a good one, monogrammed linen from his better financial days. Still, it was barely important now.
He knocked on the study door, and when Ramsay answered, he went in.
“Ah, Dominic,” Ramsay said with a forced courage. He looked ill, as if he had slept little and his weariness was deeper than the merely physical. There was a hollowness around his eyes, but also within them. “I am glad you came.” He moved his hands briskly among the papers on his desk, as though whatever he was looking for was of great importance. “There are one or two people I would like you to see.” He looked up with a brief smile. “Old friends, in a sense, parishioners who need a word of comfort or guidance. I should be very obliged if you could find the time today. There it is.” He produced a piece of paper on which were written four names and addresses. He passed it across the desk. “None of them is far. You could walk if the weather is pleasant.” He glanced at the window. “I think it is.”
Dominic took the list, read it, then put it in his pocket.
“Of course I will.” He wanted to add something, but now that he was alone with Ramsay he did not know what. There was a generation between them. Ramsay was in every way his senior. He had rescued Dominic when he was in despair, so filled with self-loathing he even contemplated taking his own life. It was Ramsay who had patiently taught him a different and better way, who had introduced a true faith, not the bland, complacent, Sunday-only sort he was used to. How could he now tax Ramsay over this tragedy and press him to speak when he obviously did not wish to?
Or did he? He was sitting awkwardly in his large chair, his hands fiddling with papers, his eyes first on Dominic’s, then downcast, then up again.
“Do you wish to speak about it?” Dominic asked, wondering if he were trespassing unforgivably, but to sit in silence was such a cowardly thing to do.
Ramsay did not pretend to misunderstand.
“What is there to say?” He shrugged his shoulders. He looked bemused, and Dominic realized that behind the effort to be busy, to appear normal, he was also very frightened. “I don’t know what happened.” His face tightened. “We quarreled. She left the room in a temper, shouting back at me. I am ashamed to say I shouted at her equally abusively. Then I returned to my desk. I am not aware of hearing anything more. I disregard many of the household sounds, the occasional bang or squeal.” For a moment his concentration on the present was broken. “I recall one of them spilling a bucket of water on the carpet in the library. She had been cleaning the windows. She screamed as if she were being attacked by robbers.” He looked bemused. “Such rage. Everyone came running. And then there are always the mice.”
“Mice?” Dominic was lost. “Mice are tiny. They squeak.”
A flicker of amusement lit Ramsay’s eyes for a moment, then died. “Maids scream, Dominic, if they see mice. I thought Nellie would crack the chandeliers.”
“Oh, yes, of course.” Dominic felt ridiculous. “I didn’t think …”
Ramsay sighed and leaned back in his chair. “Why should you? You were trying to be helpful. I realize that and appreciate it. You were giving