moment his restraint broke entirely. His thrusts fell out of rhythm, and the bed creaked beneath us as he let out a feral, primal grunt.
The sound and the feel of it pushed me over the edge, and the orgasm that poured through my body felt like liquid fire. I wrapped my arms and legs around him, pinning him to me as I shuddered beneath him. “Fuck. Mason…!”
Aftershocks quaked through us both, and our heavy breaths synchronized as we slowly came down from the high. When he finally withdrew and tugged the condom off, dropping it in the small trash can near the head of the bed, I felt suddenly empty.
Then he flopped back down on the bed beside me, lying on his back and pulling me on top of him so my body draped over his. I rested my palms on his chest and let my chin settle on the back of my hand so I could peer up into his eyes.
He gazed down at me steadily, unblinking, his gaze warm but cautious, as if he wasn’t quite sure what to say.
I wasn’t either.
This wasn’t what I’d expected to happen when I’d brought him back here, and even though it’d felt good, felt necessary somehow, I wasn’t sure it had changed anything between us.
I wasn’t sure it had fixed anything.
“What happened?” I asked softly, certain I still wouldn’t get an answer. “With Preston. What happened? Please, tell me.”
Mason was silent for a long time, still as a statue beneath me. If I hadn’t been able to feel his heart thrumming steadily against mine, I might’ve thought he was one.
Then, finally, he shook his head.
“You were right. I don’t know. I still don’t know if he or Adena touched your car. I don’t know if it was them. And I fucking hate that.” His arms tightened around me, wrapping me up in something almost like a bear hug. “It was fucking stupid. I’ve known Preston was a jackass since our freshman year, and now that he’s following Adena everywhere, I know he’s a little bitch too.”
I shifted against him, and he loosened his hold just a little to let me move.
“I shouldn’t have let him bait me, I fucking know that. But he told me… he told me I’d never be able to protect you. That I can’t keep you safe.” His jaw clenched, his lips pressing together angrily. “Maybe he wasn’t talking about the car. I don’t know. But that’s all I could think about. You, trapped in that hunk of metal, spinning out, rolling off the road.” When his arms tightened again, it was almost hard to breathe. “And he was right. I didn’t protect you then. I couldn’t.”
Mason’s features twisted in anger, and I knew that although some of it might be directed at Preston, more of it was directed at himself.
I shook my head, the movement small. “It doesn’t mean you didn’t want to, or that you didn’t try. There’s no way to keep everyone you care about safe all the time, no matter how hard you try. You can’t be everywhere at once, and you can’t prevent what you don’t see coming.”
“I should’ve seen it coming though. I should’ve fucking seen it.” The consuming pain was back in his eyes, and I knew his guilt would make it impossible for him to hear what I was saying, to believe any of it. To ever stop blaming himself.
He glanced down at my face, finally releasing his tight grip on me to run a knuckle over the line of my cheekbone. He pursed his lips, his eyes going a bit glassy. Then he murmured, “She was so sad. I should’ve seen it coming.”
My heart lurched to a stop as a sick feeling twisted in my gut.
He was talking about his mom.
As if he could’ve saved her.
As if, at nine years old, he should’ve saved her.
My throat closed up, and I wanted to force words past the painful lump, to make him see that none of that was his fault, that he hadn’t let anyone down or done anything wrong—but I couldn’t speak. Instead, I just lowered my head to his chest, wrapping my arms around him and letting his heartbeat drum in one ear while his voice fell into the other.
“The water was red when I found her. Such a bright red. I’d never seen anything like it. It didn’t—it didn’t look real. And she was so pale. So… pale.”
His words were strained, and I had a feeling